Give Guidance or Counsel: Door Handles
by ObsessiveDevil
Summary: Ed's messed up, according to Winry, Roy's the counsellor. All hell breaks loose. Rated for Language. It's complete! Parings: RoyEd, Alwin, amongst other; barely mentioned ones. Full summary inside.
1. I'm Your Counsellor

-1**Give Guidance or Counsel**

**Door Handles **

**Roy/Ed Fan Fiction**

**Disclaimer:**** I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist**

**Genre:**** Romance, Comedy, Drama, AU Highschool**

**Pairings:**** Royed, Alwin, Scarlust, Wrathclaus**

**Rating:**** T (I guess? For language?)**

**Rating of Chapter:**** T**

**Plot:**** AU; Ed's never fancied anyone in his entire 15 years of life, not one girl, nor one guy. Al came to the conclusion that Ed was 'Asexual', Winry just thought he was weird. Thus; she sends him to counselling. Of course, it would help if his guidance counsellor would actually give guidance, or counsel. **

**Chapter 1 - I'm Your Counsellor**

Go to the Chapter Bar and just read the chapter titles; it's the whole story in 75 words.

Tuesday the 28th of September

Edward Elric didn't like people. Well, he _liked_ them fair enough, but he was had never, in his 15 (almost 16) years of life, _ever_, liked anyone enough to actually call himself in love with them. To prove this, Al decided to introduce him to a bunch of girls that he thought was cute:

1. Winry Rockbell was cute, independent, well spoken, smart, and funny. She had long blonde hair and really pretty eyes, a stunning figure and was always looking out for people. Ed liked her good enough as a friend, but could never see her as anything more. It didn't help that she was going out with his younger brother.

2. Rose had tan skin, dark hair, with a died fringe, was incredibly popular, and even though she was a year older then Ed, she always stopped to talk when they passed each other in the corridors. Ed thought she was bloody gorgeous, but he'd still turn her down if she asked him to go out with her.

3. Claus was a really cute girl with a determined attitude and a good mind and heart. Not to mention that she was incredibly brave. Her manners may be a little lacking, but she was generally polite and sweet if you really got to know her. Ed would most likely give his life for the girl, but there was no way she was girlfriend material.

And last but not least;

4. Phsyren was the schools feisty nurse, she was very pretty and had a flirtatious attitude. She was constantly giving Ed jabs, and he hated her for it. End of.

And so, it wad deduced that Ed had no interest what-so-ever in girls, however, Ed refused to believe there was even a possibility that he may be _gay_, thus, Winry decided to introduce him to a bunch of guys _she_ thought were cute;

1. Russell was a tall, blonde third year who had a reputation for being the school heartthrob, despite his tender age of 14. He had an arrogant attitude, and although he was a year younger then Ed, was already a fair amount taller then him. Ed hated him for it, and Al restrained from pointing out that _most_ people were taller then him, whatever their age.

2. Envy was a fifth year guy, who looked like a cross between a girl and a palm tree. With long, died green, spiked hair, and a gothic fashion sense, he was always in a lot of trouble. He barely even showed up for school, yet still got top grades. In any case, Ed didn't really know him that well, and instantly dismissed the idea that he might 'like' him.

3. Greed was Envy's older brother, who was 21 and no longer attended their Highschool. However, he always came to pick up Envy and their other brother - who's name escapes Ed - in a flashy sports car. Ed could see how he was thought of as attractive, but certainly didn't fall in love at first sight. Or any sighting after that.

4. And last on the Boys Team, was (coincidentally) the PE teacher, Mr Havoc. Despite always having a cigarette in his hand, the guy was actually incredibly fit. (and by that Ed meant physically). Ed really couldn't see himself loving the chain smoker.

And thus; it was deduced that Ed did not like boys either, and Al dubbed his older brother by one year 'Asexual'. Ed was happy with this conclusion because he didn't need stupid hormones and what-not getting in the way of more important things anyway. Of course, Winry just thought he was weird, but it wasn't like he could have done something about that even if he tried. And thus; begins our story. (YES, I do have an obsession with the word 'thus')

-

"Oh SHIT!" came the surprised shout from behind, and Riza Hawkeye turned around just in time to catch the falling blonde. Unfortunately this meant dropping the many heavy folders she was carrying, some of which dropped on her toes and caused her a fair amount of bodily pain, but she wouldn't let that show. In her years of working at the school, she'd gotten pretty used to hyper blondes such as the one she'd just caught, and if she showed any form of weakness she'd be preyed upon, she was sure. She'd also gotten pretty used to the fowl language hyper blondes could use, and wasn't really in the mood for scolding him at that moment. She'd learnt to be attentive around this blonde, he was always in trouble. Yep, Riza Hawkeye had learnt a lot. She steadied the boy and he gave an apologetic smile and nod.

"Sorry Ma'am. I tripped." he said, ruffling his long hair nervously. Riza sighed.

"Yes, I can see that Ed." she replied, she didn't care about his clumsiness, but her feet hurt. She'd scold him for his bad mouth, but couldn't bring herself to. It was the language of the students nowadays, besides, Ed was one of her favourite pupils - bullshit about teachers not picking favourites. She gave him a short smile, but quenched it when his two good friends skidded to a halt beside him. "What have I said about running in the halls?" she asked, a hint of resignation in her voice. No matter how many times she voiced her concerns about high speeds in crowded places, children would never learn.

"Sorry Ma'am." replied the youngest, who's blonde hair was the darkest of the four people in the corridor. "But we've got something to tell brother, and it's super important!" Alphonse Elric explained excitedly, but Winry, his older by one year girlfriend, shoved him out of the way.

"No. I'VE got something to tell Ed." she disagreed. "It was my idea."

"Yeah, but I filled out all the paperwork."

"But I -"

"ORDER!"

The three blonde students grimaced, and stood to attention, fearing the wrath of the Maths teacher. Two student teachers, who were walking by at the time, snickered appreciatively at Riza's firm hand in the situation. The teens blushed at the laughter, annoyed at being caught by people not much older then themselves, being (Effectively) told off. Riza gave the student teachers and reproachful look and waved them away, which made the teens feel better. Ed swept down, picked up the folders Riza had earlier dropped, and handed it to her. She nodded thankfully, and turned, walking away - looking back once or twice to make sure the teens weren't already in more trouble. Once she was out of sight, Winry and Al rounded on the unsuspecting Edward Elric. The bewildered boy sighed and tried to sort through the jumbled mess that was his best friends trying to tell him something 'good' at the same time.

What he deciphered was: "because you know you're a fr - asexual - eak, and so we signed you up for freak - counselling - guidance. You'll get to meet lots of other freaks." Winry said the sweetest things. At least Al was trying to be nice and… wait, what?

"You signed me up for counselling? Are you fucking nuts!?" he screamed. Phsyren, the feisty nurse mentioned earlier, chose that very moment to walk by.

"Language big man."

"Don't mock me!" Ed retaliated, instantly thinking she was making a joke about his height, what little of it he had. She was the only person other then Al who knew about his fear of jabs, and she'd been talking about growing up ever since she found out about it. Ed was grown up! (and to prove this he had a spaz attack at Phsyren, then pouted when she just smirked), besides, grown ups got frightened too right? He was fairly certain that Mr. Breda was frightened to dogs - which was far more irrational then a fear of someone STABBING you with a NEEDLE. It fucking _hurt _bitch! Phsyren just winked suggestively, and Ed glared right back, he wasn't even sure her random advances were legal. But anyway, back to the matter at hand. Winry and Al were the next to see his death glare.

"What upon the bloody Earth made you think I need _counselling?_" he asked venomously. Winry answered.

"You're 15 year old and have never once been interested in the girl. It's unnatural! I would _mind_ if you liked guys or something! But you don't like them either!"

Not really seeing why that needed counselling, Ed voiced his opinion. That time, Al and Winry shared a worried glance. Ed narrowed his eyes suspiciously.

"Well…" began Winry, but Al put a hand on his girlfriends shoulder, effectively shutting her up. She gave Ed a pitying look, then shifted her gaze to the ground. Al smiled at him sweetly, the way only a brother can.

"Brother, don't you think that mum… she died at a very important time of your life." Al trailed off, but Ed was sending him a look that said 'so?'. It was common knowledge that Ed didn't like to talk about either of his parents. "Brother…"

"We think Trisha's death made you unstable, and now you can't feel love for anybody. You need counselling." ended Winry bluntly. Ed stared at her, dumbfounded. He wasn't that screwed up… was he? That wasn't true! It couldn't be, he loved Al.

"Al doesn't count, he's your brother." Winry answered his unasked question. Somehow reading his mind, (and putting him a little on edge). Ed pouted slightly, he didn't care what she said, he refused to go to a counselling session with a bunch of pumped up kids immersed in their own self pity. Winry, however, did her amazing mind reading trick again - (okay, now he's really on edge) -.

"You can't _not_ go. The paper work's all filled out. If you don't go, you'll get a detention."

"What the fuck!? That's not fair!"

"All's fair in love and counselling."

"YOU JUST MADE THAT UP!" Ed pointed dramatically at her, and passers by gave him a weird stare, and started whispering behind their hands. Ed stuck his tongue out at them when he was sure they weren't looking. He shook his head. Winry and Al - they were so dead.

"Look." Said Al, looking up at his brother through his eyelashes, - he was actually taller then Ed, but this way it made Ed feel tall. Ed twitched, and gave a small smile. He could never stay mad at Al. "I'm sorry brother, but at least go to one meeting. For me?" asked the younger Elric, well versed in the poem of manipulation. He pushed the counselling slip into his brothers hands. Ed, mesmerised by his brothers puppy dog eyes, felt his hands closed around the slip, and he nodded before he could stop himself. The two other blondes cheered happily and sped off down the hallway before Ed could change his mind - again, completely ignoring Riza's no running in the halls rule -. Ed stared blankly down at the slip.

Counselling Session

Mr. E. Elric

Room: G4

There was no name as to who was taking the session, and no indication as to whether it was a one to one, or a group. Ed hoped it was one to one. If he was forced to go along to this, he didn't want a bunch of suicidal kids knowing about his problems. Not that he had any problems. Why couldn't he live his Asexual life alone and happy -without everyone knowing about it? Tomorrow - he could definitely wait until tomorrow. He didn't want to go to this thing. The bell went, signalling he was late for his next class.

"Oh SHIT!"

Wednesday the 29th of September

The next day did come soon enough, it came way too soon for Ed's liking. He hated public speaking. He hated speaking in general, especially about his _feelings _and shit. He spent every class in a daze, dreading the final bell, when he would have to saunter off to G4 and spend a hole hour discussing just that. At lunch he was so uptight he couldn't even find the will to speak to Winry and Al. in the last period, his heart was pounding so hard he thought it was going to break his ribcage (and _that_ would be a nasty mess!). He seriously hated talking to new people, he hated talking about his love life, he hated talking about his parents: one deceased, one as good as dead. Then the bell rang and he found himself outside the door to G4, his hand hovering over the handle, as if frozen to the spot.

"Are you going to go in, or are you just admiring the craftsmanship of the door handle?"

Ed looked up into handsome onyx eyes, and took note of the arrogant smirk which went so well with the man's sexy looks. Ed inwardly choked… the man was 'sexy'? HE had thought the man was SEXY. He stared, dumbfounded, at the taller man, until the smirk fell.

"Look kid, I don't have all day. Now, if you'd kindly get out of the way miss…"

Ed blushed heavily, gripping the door handle tightly.

"I'm not a girl you idiot! My name is Edward Elric, and I'm here for counselling!" he shouted, glaring, and realising too late that he'd basically just screamed he was a nutcase. The man's smirk returned full force.

"Well then Edward Elric. My name is Roy Mustang, and I'm your counsellor."


	2. I'm Ed

-1**Give Guidance or Counsel**

**Door Handles**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist**

**Rating of chapter: T**

**Chapter 2 - I'm… Ed.**

Wednesday the 29th of September

Ed hated him. He was an arrogant, annoying, narcissus, manipulative, sacrilegious prick with a fucking death wish. He slumped into his small plastic chair and stared around the group. Not only did he have a retarded counsellor, it was also a group session. He was never going to another one of these again. It was freaking torture just to sit there and look at all the depressing kids - and Mustang. What was it about him that had instantly made Ed think 'sexy'? It wasn't as if it mattered, he thought Rose was sexy too… and that hadn't caused any harm to his asexuality. It wasn't like he'd suddenly fallen in _love_ with the jerk. Since that was impossible and all.

"Alright, since this is the first session of the year, let's do some introductions." he smiled, all charms and happiness, "I'm Roy Mustang, you can call me either Roy or Mr. Mustang… Either way I'm the guy you'll be spilling all your problems to." he was wearing a half buttoned up white shirt, a loosened tie, and suit trousers. He leant back against the desk and sent a smirk at all the people sitting in chairs, in a semi circle around said desk. He nodded to a small girl who was sitting closest to him, there were only three of them there, but it was still embarrassing. The girl introduced herself first, but Ed wasn't listening. The boy next to him was glaring at him; he glared back.

"I'm Wrath… and I'm angry all the time." he said suddenly, and Ed felt a pang of guilt for glaring back. Mustang gave an understanding nod, and was about to turn to Ed when the door swung open.

"Ah! Miss Lust!" exclaimed Mustang, standing up straighter. Miss Lust gave him a nod and pulled up a chair besides Wrath. Mustang gave a grin, but Ed could tell it was forced. Miss Lust was his biology teacher, and she had a way of making people uneasy with her good looks and sexual charm. "I forgot you wanted a session as well, are you sure you want to do this in front of the kids?" he asked. Lust nodded, and Ed's ears perked up a bit. Teachers went to this prick for counselling as well?

"My name is Lust, and I think I'm suffering from amnesia." she explained. Ed couldn't help staring at her. That was pretty intense for a school guidance counsellor wasn't it? Mustang seemed on edge when he turned to Ed for an introduction. Ed gulped, looking around the group.

"I'm… Ed." he stated. Mustang sighed, waiting for more. "… And I'm here because my friends think I'm screwed up." he added. He wasn't going to another one of these stupid meetings anyway. Mustang took out a file and flipped it open.

"You're here for a number of reasons Mr. Elric."

Ed glared, what did this bastard know anyway?

"_One_ reason sir, I don't let my hormones get in the way of more important things."

"Like your studies?"

"Precisely."

"Wow, you really are fucked up."

Ed glared heatedly. That fucking bastard! Mustang just smirked.

"So what's all this stuff about an intense hatred for milk, and anyone taller then you?" Ed flushed, "Or being so immersed in your studies that you forget to eat? Or your hostility towards your father, or the fact that you haven't showed love for anyone except your brother since your mother died or -"

"Roy!"

Mustang stopped reading aloud from the file Al and Winry had filled in the day before. He surveyed the blonde, who was looking down at his lap, and clenching his fists around the material of his jeans. He glanced at Miss Lust, who had called his name to get him to stop. He really should have been checking to see how it was effecting the boy. Ed looked up and gave him a hurt look, Roy didn't think it was really meant for him, but the two 'friends' who'd given Roy all the information. Roy thought Ed was lucky that he _had_ friends that were looking out for him. Still, the kid seemed to have a fair few problems. But even so, he had to hate a lot of people if he hated everyone who was taller then him. The boy was a shrimp!

"I'm not short damn you! I'm still growing!" shouted the blonde teen, Roy hadn't realised he'd mused out loud, but Ed's reaction had been comical, and so he had chuckled lightly. Which earned him a stubborn pout from the kid. He figured the best way to work with even a few of Ed's problems was to take the offensive. Yep; he was gunna have some fun with Ed. He shrugged at the boys pout.

"Okay, you're still growing… that much is obvious."

"Stop calling me short!"

"I didn't."

"Urgh! I hate this!"

Mustang gave him a fake pitying look, then turned to Wrath.

"So, elaborate on your anger."

The rest of the meeting passed okay, Ed kept quiet through most of it, ignored Mustang when he tried to get Ed to 'share', but retaliated violently whenever the man mentioned his height. It wasn't his fault he was bellow average in that area, and talking about it wasn't going to make him tall. Besides, he made up for his small stature with his big ego. Yet, Ed's inquisitive nature stopped him from tuning the meeting out completely. He was interested in Lust's story. He wanted to know why she would chose Mustang over a real shrink, one that was probably more adapt to her type of problem.

Apparently, she thought she was suffering from amnesia because she was remembering things that she was sure has never happened to her. She said it was usually when she saw a man who worked on the school board. Mustang had listened intently, but seemed at a loss as to what to say to her. Just before the hour was up, Mustang turned once more to Ed.

"Answer me this and I wont force you to come to the next meeting." he said, "If you don't answer, and you don't turn up next week, I'll be forced to give you a detention - and you have a clean record." he added. Ed knew he had a clean record, he didn't need this dick to tell him that. Ed nodded. "Why does your brother think you're Asexual?"

Ed flushed, trying to tune out the curious glances he was getting, at least when _he_ was listening to other people he kept his eyes trained on his lap.

"I've just never liked annoying - as in love." he explained, "Not in 15 years. It's got nothing to do with my mother." he added. Mustang leant down in front of Ed's chair and looked him straight in the eyes, placing a hand on each of his shoulders to keep him trapped there. He noticed the blush spreading over the teens cheeks.

"But you do recognise beauty?" he asked in a whisper, Ed nodded. The blush intensifying. Mustang leant in a little further, testing his boundaries. They were practically nose to nose when Ed eventually leant back. Roy rose an elegant eyebrow. So it wasn't a physical contact problem, he didn't seem to mind getting up, close and personal.

"Ever had a bad relationship?" he asked, standing up straight again.

"I've never had any relationship before, that's why I'm here."

Mustang smirked. "It's not a dating group."

Ed made a cute little noise of agitation.

"Can I go now?"

_Wait, _thought Roy, _did I just call him cute? _he checked his watch.

"Yes, you all can." he announced, and there was a small scuffle as the occupants of the room collected their coats and bags. "Will I see you again next week Edward?" Mustang asked. Ed glanced at Lust, who was already half way out the door, and Wrath who was glaring at the wall, and then at Mustangs arrogant, smirking face. For some reason, he was compelled to say yes.

"…maybe."

Later, he would probably regret that decision.

Thursday the 30th of September

"So, so, how'd it go?" asked an excited Winry as she placed her lunch down on the table the next day, and sat next to Al. Ed faced them on the other side. He took a deep breath and slammed his head onto the table, making Al wince slightly, and Winry's drink slosh over the side of her plastic cup.

"The counsellor is an arrogant perverted prick! I don't even think he's qualified! All he does is make fun of me!" he whined into the wood of the table his forehead was resting against. "he thinks he's all high and mighty and fucking _God_ because he's so bloody good looking, but I bet he has -"

"Ed!"

Ed finished his sentence off in his brain - _STD'S _- before snapping his head up to meet a very excited look from his brother and best friend. They shared a happy glanced with each other and Ed, once again, felt as if he was out of the loop.

"You said he's good looking! You think he's handsome!" Winry squealed. Ed blushed and rose an eyebrow.

"What the fuck does that have to do with anything?" he asked defensively. "I think Rose is good looking too." he fell back into the old excuse well. Winry just rolled her eyes.

"We programmed you to think that. But me and Al have never met this guy… so you thought it on your own! it's a definite start!" she all but screamed.

"I'm not a robot! And a definite start to _what_?" shouted back Ed, feeling like he should have never have said anything about Mustang in the first place. _He wasn't _that _good looking anyway_, he thought with a pout.

"Accepting your love for him!" replied Winry.

"D-Don't be ridiculous!" stuttered Ed, "I don't have love for anyone! Especially not _Him_."

"Who are you talking about?" came a recognisable voice from behind. Ed squeaked and looked up, over his shoulder.

"Mr. Mustang!" sighed Winry, already in dream land on the other side of the table. Ed's eyebrow twitched.

"So you _do _know him!" he accused!

"Hello Winry, she's in my tutor group Edward. So… you were talking about me?" he asked, Ed jumped up and pointed an accusing finger at the counsellor.

"Of course not you arrogant bastard! Who would?"

"I'm hurt." Mustang deadpanned. "Anyway, since you're a nutcase, Principle Bradly wants us to have more sessions. Here's the next meeting." he explained, handing Ed the slip. Ed took it without thinking and watched Mustang's back retreat back into the school halls. Then he snapped out of it and glared at nothing in particular.

"See! He called me a nutcase!" he shouted.

"But he _is_ very sexy."

"Winry!"

"I thought it was endearing…"

"Al!"

The two other blondes started another topic of conversation, leaving Ed to think. It was true, he'd only started thinking Rose was good looking after he'd been told she was by Winry and Al. With Mustang, however, his first thoughts were of the mans looks. But that was stupid. Mustang was a prick, and a guy! If he was going to start 'liking' someone, he was going to make damn sure it was girl! His head hit the table again and his hand closed around the counselling slip.


	3. There Was Raping

-1**Give Guidance or Counsel**

**Door Handles**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist**

**Rating of chapter: T**

**Chapter 3 - There was Raping**

Roy and Maes get to use 'the line' = Morally corrupt. Unfortunately I couldn't get the whole thing in. = Morally corrupt colonel with a god complex. :-p

Friday the 1st of October

Ed walked quietly and slowly, but determinedly, down the hallway.

Counselling Session

Mr. E. Elric.

Room SC19

The hallway was deserted, thanks to it being after school hours, and most normal children had gone home by this point. The sessions basically were detentions, and Ed was not adverse to sulking about it either. He was being punished for being 'screwed up'. it was so highly unfair! He stopped outside SC19 and sighed heavily, hand once again hovering over the handle, not touching it in case it burnt his fingers off or something. Ed knew he was thinking crazy, but he _really_ didn't want to go to this meeting. His fingers twitched over the handle.

"You really like handles don't you?" asked a voice from behind him. Ed jumped and quickly withdrew his hand from the door, staring up at Mustangs smirking face. He had just had a major case of déja vu. "Edward?" Mustang drew him back to reality and he quickly let himself into the classroom, instantly noting the lack of other lunatics. He rose an eyebrow at Mustang, who was shrugging off his coat and loosening his tie. The older man hopped up onto a desk and smirked, sitting crossed-legged on said desk. Ed sank into a chair, facing him.

"This is a one-to-one… lets try and be finished _shortly_ so we can spend as _little_ time together as possible." Ed growled under his breath. "To be honest, I'm looking forward to going home - I've got shrimp for dinner."

"Dammit Mustang you pervert! I'm not short!" Ed protested. Mustang smirked, and Ed was really getting tired of seeing it.

"How am I a pervert? That _short_ temper of yours will get you in to trouble!" he tut-tutted. "But hey, at least we're showing some progress on your inability to show love." he grinned cheekily, Ed grumbled and crossed his arms.

"Not really."

Roy sighed, "Whatever, your hatred for tall people is only one your problems, isn't it little nutcase." oh, if looks could kill. "and it's not really top of my priorities list. What about your father?"

"What about him?" the intense hatred in Ed's voice almost threw Mustang off. Almost.

"Well I'm not letting you leave until you tell me why you dislike him."

"Do you plan on keeping me here all night?"

… Roy got a little more comfortable on his desk ….

"Dislike doesn't even get close to covering it. I hate the bastard." Ed began in a low tone. "if he up and died right now, I'd be happy."

Roy looked at his lap, willing himself not to interrupt, because this could be the only time Ed might be willing to open up a little.

"He left me 'n' Al 'n' mum when we were just kids. He didn't care that mum was suffering!" Ed was clenching his fists as if imagining being able to punch the guy. "he probably found himself some _bitch_ because he stopped sending letters. Then mum for sick, and we tried so hard to contact him! The bastard wouldn't even come to her funeral!" he seethed.

Roy decided to ignore the wateriness of his patients eyes. He hated cry babies

"Kid… if you're not in contact with your dad, and your mum's dead - who are you staying with?"

Ed froze, staring directly at Mustang. He'd just given away his and Al's living arrangements. Shit. The bastard was going to tell the police! They'd be put into child care. There was no way he and Al would be lucky enough to be kept together. Mustang rose an eyebrow.

"I'll take that as a 'no-one'. well damn kid, you really are fucked up." he reached for his phone and dialled a number, Ed's legs finally moved and he tackled the phone away, flipping it shut and flinging it to the floor; pinning mustang to the desk behind him. The elder looked very shocked and highly confused.

"You can't!" shouted Ed, paying no mind to the distinctive break in his voice half way through. "Al and I are fine! Please don't call the police, they'd never let us stay together!" he protested. Mustang blinked, as if finally comprehending what Ed was getting at.

"Don't you think that's unfair on Alphonse?" he asked in a much softer voice then he would usually use. "He needs real looking after, which you can't provide." he added.

"Then I'll try harder to look after him! Please… just don't call the police." the young blonde looked down at the ground, or rather, Roy's legs, and let his hair fall in his face. He stayed there for a few minutes, where neither of them could bring themselves to speak.

"Please…" he repeated. "I'll do anything."

A low whistle came from the doorway.

"Not interrupting anything am I?"

Roy blinked a few times at the man standing in the doorway; Maes Hughes; his best friend. Then realised the situation they were in. Edward has his hands firmly on Roy's wrists, trapping them to the desk, and was using his legs to trap Roy's lower body. Basically, the younger boy was straddling him. The counsellor sighed, seeing how compromising the scene must look.

"No Hughes." he eventually said, prying Ed off of him: which really wasn't that hard, as the boy was frozen in shock and wasn't protesting to it. "Wait outside."

"Ho ho ho!" Hughes chuckled, not moving to wait outside as he was commanded. Roy made a face as he felt the usual headache he got from being around his best friend coming on.

"You are so morally corrupt I can't even put it down to funny." he told the man in the doorway.

"I just came to show you some pictures of my beautiful daughter Elysia!" at this he appeared beside Ed and held up the picture. Ed glanced at it. The kid was kinda cute; sitting on a tricycle. He gave the man a small, quick smile. "Anywho, you're the one raping some kid." at this he pointed at Ed, who blushed and looked away, mumbling something which sounded suspiciously like 'who are you calling a kid?'. Hughes smirked. Roy sighed.

"But judging from the position you walked in on, it was more like him raping me!" he protested childishly, making Ed glare at him for not telling the man that there was a general lack of raping at all.

"So…" Hughes paused to think. "He's the morally corrupt one?" he asked the room at whole, pointing at Ed. The boy in question blushed and gave the man a 'what the fuck?' look. "Well, either way there was raping going on!" … Hughes seemed to rejoice in that thought. Roy shoved him out of the room and closed the door., turning to Ed, who had now adopted an absolutely petrified look. (Me thinks he eventually realised what Hughes meant by morally corrupt). Roy retrieved his phone from where Ed had slung it, and gave the boy a long, hard look.

"Look kid, I couldn't care less about you and your brother. But I do want to be on the right side of the law." he stopped and sighed, massaging his temples a little, "However, I won't tell the police on the condition that you continue to come to group, and private meetings, and you are honest with me about everything I ask. Understood?" the elder bargained, Ed nodded, looking at his feet. Mustang left the boy to think about it for a little while before;

"Good, see ya around little nutcase!" and he pushed the door open and joined Hughes on the other side. They were half way down the corridor when Ed skidded out into the hallway and screamed.

"You officially _suck _as a guidance counsellor!"

Roy waved him off, and turned back to Hughes.

"So what was that all about?" asked the other man.

"He's just a nutcase, we had a disagreement."

"So you're not falling for him?" teased his best friend.

"I'm not gay, nor am I a paedophile!" protested Roy. "Why did you come anyway?"

"you pranked me didn't you?"

"Yeah… need a lift home, my car's in the workshop." That was right, Roy had had no intention of phoning the police. But, if Ed thought he was under threat, then it could be convenient.

"So… the straddling was because he's a lunatic?"

"Yeah… pretty much."

"You really shouldn't go falling for your patients doc."

Roy sighed, "For the last time, I couldn't give two fucks about that boy! I'm only doing my job!"

"Yeah." Hughes smirked. "But I bet you could give two (or more) fucks _to_ the boy!"

Roy felt like screaming. Why was Hughes his best friend again?

-

Ed flopped on his bed when he got home, and tried not to think about the things that man had insinuated - that there was a relationship going on between him and Roy Mustang. That was absurd, even if he wasn't Asexual, Mustang was a bastard, and his counsellor! And… old! How old was he anyway? Ed found himself pondering, before he shook away the silly thoughts. He was still evil, and sadistic, and handsome and… Ed groaned at his traitorous mind, pulling his pillow over his head. He didn't like this one bit!

And that was the position Al found him in when he walked into the room a few minutes later. Ed was still laying on the bed, pillow over head. Al hastily pulled it away and was met with Ed's bemused, innocent look.

"Not going suicidal are you?" Al asked, worry coating his tone. Ed's eyes narrowed and he shook his head.

"No…"

"Are you-"

"Leave it."

"Okay…" Al hugged the pillow to his chest. "You're being touchy." he reasoned with his older brother. Ed picked up a book from his bedside table and hurled it in Al's direction. Al caught it (dropping the pillow) and put it down, out of Ed's reach.

"I'm not touchy!" Ed pouted, "It's your fault anyway!" he huffed at his bed sheets, wishing he had his pillow back. Al rose a well practised eyebrow. "If you didn't sign me up I wouldn't even have met him, or that freaky friend of his, and I'd be able to get him out of my mind!" Ed flushed, seeing his brother victorious look and realising what he'd just said.

"Am I to assume you are talking of Mr. Mustang?"

Ed growled threateningly.

"Hell no!" he protested, picking p another book to hurl, Al managed to stop him before the object left his hand, and sat down on the end of Ed's bed, taking the pile of books with him. Ed pouted cutely. "Whatever, just give me the phone." he growled.

Al decided not to test his brother further, and handed him the pay-as-you-go mobile phone they shared. Ed took it and punched in a number, holding it to his ear.

"Hey Rose. Wanna go on a date?" (with phantom dark? XD)

Al's jaw dropped.

"Right… yeah, seven then?… great, see ya tomorrow! Bye!" he smirked proudly at his little brother. Al just shook his head.

"You should use Rose to try and prove you're not attracted to Mr. Mustang."

"I'm not using her… and I'm not attracted to Roy!"

Al smirked.

"Roy?"

"Oh fuck off Al! I'm going on a date with Rose. End of!"

"Whatever, mind your language!" warned the younger, collecting the mobile and handing Ed back his books and pillow before leaving the room. Ed hugged his pillow again. He was _not_ attracted to Mustang.


	4. Morning Colonel

-1**Give Guidance or Counsel**

**Door Handles**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist**

**Rating of chapter: T**

**Chapter 4 - Morning Colonel!**

Saturday the 2nd of October

Ed waited outside the park entrance, clad in his usually dark clothing and red trench coat, wearing plat formed boots to add an inch or so to his height. His hair tied back in the usual braid. Winry had tried to get him to make more of an effort on his 'first date', but Ed really couldn't see the point. Rose was 'fashionably late', but when she did arrive she was wearing a beige skirts which came to just about her knees, and pale pink, short sleeve T-shirt. Her hair was left down, and curled. She was wearing pink dolly shoes and pink eye shadow. Ed gave her an approving look, grabbing her hand and leading her through the park. He listened patiently to her chatter about… err -whatever she was jabbering on about, until he came to a bench and gratefully sat down. Rose followed suit.

Ed had everything planned out - with a lot of help from Al and Winry. He'd meet Rose at the park, and they'd chat for a bit before going to see a movie at Six. The cinema being just next to the park. Of course, now they didn't have as much time for chatting since Rose had been late, but it didn't really matter since he hadn't picked a specific film - he was leaving that up to Rose. Afterwards, he would walk her home, and if all went well, he'd ask for another date. Not so hard. Rose went quiet for a bit and Ed looked up to see if she was okay.

"You know, I was a little surprised when you asked me out." she started, Ed rose an eyebrow. "There's been a rumour going around that you're… um… well, not really into girls." she ended, Ed clenched his fist and willed the small blush which graced his features to go down. Since when did people care enough about him to make rumours up?

"Some first year started it, apparently, and people kind of believe them." she stopped, and took a deep breath at the hearty glare Ed was directing at the ground. She carried on though, bravery letting itself be known at the most inappropriate time. "I think it's because they figure why would a first year say it out of spite? And well… you've never really gone out with anyone before… or shown any interest."

Ed stood up, laughed, and helped Rose to her feet. They started making their way towards the cinema, and Ed kept the conversation well away from his sexual orientation, and on to their studies. Rose was most interested in Religious Education, and really looked up to Mr. Cornello, the RE teacher. However, this bored Ed to tears, since he was more of a scientific type of guy. He didn't say anything to annoy her, but the conversation died fairly quickly. Rose wove a quick hello to Envy, and Ed quickly looked the other way, as Envy was known for being a delinquent, and very possessive of his friends. Rose was one of those friends, - although Ed had no idea how, since the two were polar opposites.

They reached the cinema with 9 minutes to Six, and Rose decided to watch something that was so sappily romantic Ed almost fell asleep buying the tickets. They watched the movie in silence. Ed did fall asleep, but Rose seemed to enjoy, and was animatedly recounting the kiss scene between the two main characters to Ed, who was acting as if he'd actually seen in. And yes, it was romantic, and yes, the flowers were a nice touch, and yes, he'd cried too… wait, what? He looked at Rose's stunned expression, which slowly morphed into a happy smile. Ed grinned cheekily back, yes, girls like emotional men. (lies! It's all lies! Emotional men are GAY!! - proved in this story).

They began the walk home, noting how the sky had turned dark while they were in the cinema. When they reached Rose's simply home, she turned to him a cute, shy smile. Ed was wondering if he should ask her out again, as that day had been spectacularly boring. He glanced up at Rose - don't say _anything -_ and bit his lip.

"Err… Rose?"

"Let's not meet again."

Ed stared, stunned at Rose. He blinked.

"As friends, we're good. But we don't work as anything more." she explained. Ed hesitated, but nodded, shoving his hands in his pockets. Rose also seemed hesitant to say something more. Ed motioned for her to continue. "Ed… are you, well… don't you like girls?" she asked, Ed decided to be truthful.

"I don't like anyone." Rose adopted a hurt look. "But I wasn't using you or anything!" he assured, "I wanted this to work out, but you're right. We work better as friends." Rose smiled.

"Sure Ed. Well, see ya at school!" she waved, letting herself in. Ed made his way home in a very bad mood. He hadn't even had a good day, and Rose didn't want to see him again, why couldn't he just have a normal relationship? He mentally whined.

Monday the 4th of October

Ed had point blank refused to talk to Al when he arrived home that Saturday night, and now, two days later on Monday, he and Winry wanted to know the details of his date with Rose, the 'sexy firth year' as she was known by most of the school. Ed gave the two other blondes a very unhappy glare and pout - which don't really go together by the way.

"We're not seeing each other again." he explained, Winry suddenly looked more disappointed then Ed.

"Well damn! I thought for sure… Well, at least you tried. Mr. Mustang must be getting something with you." she quipped. Ed made sure he intensified his glare, and got rid of his pout, focussing solely on the only female of their group. He sighed, knowing it was having no effect on her anyway. She was just too… bubbly. Standing up to leave, he gave a parting message.

"That bastard isn't getting anywhere with me. I didn't ask out Rose because of the counselling." he semi-lied. He'd asked her out because Mustang kept invading his thoughts, and he'd needed a distraction. He turned around to leave, and bumped right into said invader.

"Edward!" exclaimed the man, all charms and smiles again. "We bump into each other and there isn't a door handle in sight! Makes a nice change." Ed simply re-directed his glare again.

"What do you want?" he spat out, seething that Roy had the _gall_ to show up when he _obviously_ wasn't in the mood for talking with his _favourite_ counsellor. Roy just smirked, as if Ed's moodiness was his own personal victory.

"Next meeting little nutcase!" he sing-sang, patting Ed's head condescendingly. Ed took the slip, wondering why Mustang was in such a good mood, and knowing he couldn't refuse it after their last meeting. He shot Al a worried glance, which Roy did not miss. Roy was about to leave a happy-go-lucky message and leave when someone pounced on him from behind.

"Morning Colonel!" Shouted an excited Maes Hughes. "I see you're with the rape victim again… or is it the rapist?" he added, giving Ed a pointed look. Roy, feeling his good mood slipping away, disentangled himself from the hug.

"Have you no god-damn pride? Don't call me that, and don't refer to students in such a manner!" Mustang protested, Ed noticed that whenever he was around Hughes, the dark haired man lost his cool.

"But Colo~nel!" Hughes protested back, pouting in what was probably supposed to be a cute way.

"Colonel?" Ed questioned before he could stop himself. Roy snapped to attention before _he _could stop _himself._ which made Hughes burst out laughing.

"It was Roy's nickname back when we were in school" he explained, patting Roy on the shoulder. Roy gave him a glare. "He was kinda commanding, so it suited him. He such a brat back then and-" he was cut off when Roy delivered a swift smack round the head. Ed quickly decided that he should get Mustang back for all the times he'd been embarrassed by the man, and questioned.

"If that's all, why snap to attention?"

Maes gave Ed a studying look.

"Probably the hair… and the height." Ed tensed. "Yeah, you look so much like she did back then… course, you'd never know it now." Maes nodded at his own train of thought, Roy rolled his eyes and Riza Hawkeye (conveniently) chose that moment to walk by.

"I don't think we look alike." she stated, "and get on with your work colonel!"

Roy tensed back into attention.

"Yes Ma'am"

And took his leave. Riza carried on, and Maes winked before hurrying after his friend, and Ed's guidance counsellor. Ed blinked bemusedly at what had just happened. Roy, Hughes and Hawkeye had known each other at school? And he looked like Hawkeye? What power did Hawkeye have over Roy anyway? Why'd he just obey? Should Ed try doing that? He smirked. But really, were Hawkeye and Roy… together? Dun, dun, dun! Ed shook his head at his own train of thought, Roy probably just obeyed because Hawkeye was _scary_ when angry. He felt a tap on his shoulder.

"What did that man mean by 'rape victim'?"

Typical Winry - was that all she got from that overload of information?

-

It was only later, when Ed was actually studying a door handle for his art class, and revelling in the irony, that he realised how embarrassing that comment was. What must Winry and his poor, innocent, little brother think? Poor Al, to be subjected to such a deviously dangerous and ridiculously radical rumour! (Ed should take an English class!). Of course, it never occurred to Ed that Al was in his own classroom (English, just to add to the irony), grinning with glee at the idea of his otherwise messed up brother actually experiencing a sexual encounter. Winry had tainted his mind a long time ago; one of the random perks of having an older girlfriend (especially one as straightforward as Winry). Then again, Al was also fairly sure that Ed was venomously ignoring his and Winry's relationship because he refused to believe Al was anything but innocent - (even though the couple had had full blown make out sessions in front of him). In any case, Al and Winry's already established relationship has pretty much nothing to do with the issue at hand. That issue being that One Roy Mustang had walked into the room, just as Ed had picked up his door handle to really study it. The elder male, as mature and awesome as he was, burst out laughing. This totally disturbed the class and caused the teacher to blink at him in surprise.

Ed looked up to the sound of quite angelic laughter, certainly not expecting to see the by now familiar face of his counsellor. Ed had heard Roy chuckle before, but the man had never laughed like this - a full on laugh, which qualities of sounding like he was taken by surprise. After a while of stunned watching, Ed realised the cause of laughter and quickly replaced the door handle on the table. The truth was now, however, completely unavoidable. He found Roy Mustang an arrogant bastard. But he was rather an attractive arrogant bastard.


	5. Consider Yourself Dumped

-1**Give Guidance or Counsel**

**Door Handles**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist**

**Rating of Chapter: T**

**Chapter 5 - Consider Yourself Dumped**

Monday the 4th of October

Roy Mustang sent an apologetic glance at the Art teacher, who for some reason, wasn't wearing a shirt, and killed his laughter by thinking of Breda in a bikini. It worked instantly, but now he was scarred for life. Mr Armstrong made his way over.

"To what do I and my talented students owe the pleasure sir?" he asked, all sincerity and sparkles. Roy gave him a reproachful look, now regretting making eye contact.

"Actually, I think I entered the wrong class. I'm looking for Lyra?"

Armstrong's sparkles increased. With a little heart about the I.

"Yes! Lyra is one of my best pupils! She really seems to enjoy the Art that is… well, art!"

"… Don't all your pupils? Art _is _optional."

"Yes it is! But some students take this because they would rather art then drama or music, or they take it to flesh out their studies. Of course, for the Armstrong family, art has been handed down for many generations!"

Here he goes again, thought Ed as he witnessed Mustangs facial expressions become more and more pained. The dark haired man made his excuses and left to find Lyra, the petite 5th year. Ed picked his door handle back up.

"You alright Edward Elric? I know you are not really into art now are you lad?" asked Armstrong, his one blonde curl swinging happily. Ed turned the doorknob around in his hands and gave his teacher a bored look.

"I'm fine sir." he answered, wondering why it was so easy to talk to Armstrong, and so uneasy to talk to Mustang. Maybe someone like Armstrong should be the school counsellor, and not that jerk!

"Oh!" Mustang was again in the doorway, "Next meeting is cancelled, it'll have to be tomorrow instead, 'kay little nutcase?"

Ed flushed from the stares he was receiving from the other students, and glared at Mustang - he wanted to shout at him, but instead he said:

"Why?" Mustang looked taken aback. Truthfully, he'd been expecting a tantrum. Ed looked embarrassed he'd asked. Why couldn't his mouth say what his brain was saying? Mustang gave him a confused look. "Well, what's so important you have to cancel tonight?" Ed's mouth went on without his brains permission. Mustang lent casually against the doorframe, smirking. Letting Ed know he'd just stepped over the line which read 'I can now tease you - bad'.

"You sound like you're jealous! We're you looking forward to it or something?" he asked. Ed, now conscious that the stares from his classmates were increasing, held his tongue and simply glared at the man. "If you must know, I've decided to skip out little chat to take a lovely lady named Lily out for dinner. So consider yourself dumped little nutcase."

Ed stood up before he could stop himself.

"Don't be ridiculous you jerk! There's nothing to dump! It's not… like we were together or anything! You're such a pervert! Why the hell would I be looking forward to spending time with you?" and shaking with rage, he sat back down.

"Bravo Edward Elric! Your passion and truthfulness is simply beautiful! How very artistic!" added Armstrong, sparkles flying everywhere.

-

By the end of the day news had spread of Ed losing his temper with Mustang - although Chinese whispers had changed it from the truth to Ed and Mustang being involved in a passionate love affair, and Ed had had his heart broken because Mustang had dumped him for some bitch called Lucy. By the end of last period the whole female population of the school had turned against an unsuspecting Mustang, and Ed had had to endure girls randomly hugging him and telling him he'd 'find someone else' - without a clue as to what was going on. Walking out of school, he found out the rumour (well, kind of anyway), from Winry and Al.

The two were walking hand in hand, as couples do, and talking animatedly to each other in excited whispers, when Ed caught up and separated them by pushing himself in between their locked fingers. For once though, they didn't seem to mind the interruption, as Winry swept him up into a hug.

"Oh Ed! I'm annoying you didn't tell me, but at the same time I feel so sorry for you! How're you feeling?" she asked, in pretty much one breath, and then let him go so he could answer her question.

"Do I have cancer or something?" he asked Al cynically.

"Oh! You're so brave!" wailed Winry, throwing her arms around him again. Ed pushed her off roughly.

"I really don't know what you're on about." he said as calmly as he could, considering he wanted to strangle the entire female race.

"Mr. Mustang dumping you!" explained Winry in a dramatic stage whisper. Al nodded in agreement to her 'tact'. Ed blinked a few times, stopped walking altogether, blinked some more, then;

"What?! When did Mustang dump me?" he all but screamed, attracting a few odd looks, and a few sympathetic ones. Winry's expression fell from concerned, to livid.

"You're still with him after he cheated on you with… what's her name, lea or something."

"Wasn't it Lyra?" said Al.

"What?!" repeated Ed, "Mustang's with Lyra?" Ed asked, remembering the 5th year Mustang had been looking for earlier that day.

"You didn't _know?_" gasped Al.

"But someone said he dumped you, and even told you he was taking the bitch out tonight." added Winry.

Ed bit his lip, as if in thought, then;

"Oh that's right! He dumped me to take Lily out tonight!" he said with a smile. Winry's face faltered.

"… And… you're not upset?"

"Why would I be? Like I wanna spend time with that bastard anyway!" he grinned. Winry and Al exchanged a glance, and then -

"That's the attitude to take!" encouraged his younger brother. Ed wasn't entirely sure what was going on, but he was looking forward to tomorrow so he could tell Mustang that Al and Winry thought he was with _Lyra_. Wait… he was looking forward to tomorrow? He blushed.

"Hey guys, ever get the feeling that when you're talking to someone, you're having two separate conversations?"

Thursday the 5th of October

The next day Ed walked into SS9 quite relaxed. He was getting used to the sessions and was determined not to let Mustang piss him off this time. Besides, he didn't want to be caught looking at a door handle again. He found Mustang in a stone grey, fitted polo neck, and dark jeans listening to Havoc the PE teacher, with a pissed off look on his face. Ed coughed quietly to announce his presence. Mustang looked up, seemingly surprised.

"Bugger, I figured I had at least another 15 minutes while you admired the door handle." he teased, fake checking his watch. Havoc shot an uneasy look between the two and Ed took a deep breath so as not to rip Mustang's head off.

"Look Jean, nothing's going on. Don't believe school yard rumours. I have a session, so can you…?" Roy made an odd thrusting gesture which made Havoc snort in amusement. "Oh! Just leave!" Roy shouted, pushing the PE teacher out the door. Havoc gave Ed a little wave, which the boy happily returned, once he was somewhat down the hallway Ed turned to Mustang with a teasing grin.

"What was that all about?" he asked innocently. Roy was tidying the desk with his back to Ed as he spoke.

"There's a rumour going around the school about me." he said truthfully.

"About you and Lyra?"

Mustang paused in his tidying.

"No… there's a rumour about Lyra and I?"

Ed shrugged in what he hoped was a nonchalant way, even though Mustang wasn't looking at him.

"Al and Winry thought you two were together." he explained. Mustang shook his head slowly, from side to side.

"Teacher/student relationships are illegal. Your friends are delusional."

"I know." Ed agreed. Mustang turned round and leant against his desk to see Ed perches neatly on a student desk of his own. "Are you actually a teacher then?" asked the boy. Mustang rose an eyebrow.

"I used to be, and I have a tutor group, which makes me enough of a teacher. What do you care?"

Ed took another deep breath. Roy wondered if he was having trouble breathing. Should he open a window?

"Okay, so I have a solution which will help a few of your problems." Mustang said. Ed rose his own eyebrow, Mustang was actually looking for solutions.

"How about taking me out of counselling?" he asked.

"I'm asking your teachers to give you less homework."

…

"um… why?"

"Alphonse wrote that you study too hard and forget to eat, which isn't healthy. With a decreased work load, more time for eating. Which may help you grow." he smirked, probably feeling all self victorious fore finding a solution _and _mentioning Ed's height. Ed rolled his eyes, and didn't retaliate, which certainly put Mustang back a few notches.

"It takes me on average 1 and a half hours a week to finish all my homework. It isn't that long. There is no need to cut down my work load." _Yep, boy genius, bathe in my glory, bitch._

Roy looked stumped, and rather crestfallen his plan had hit rock bottom. Ed felt proud.

"Then why aren't you eating? You're not anorexic as well are you?" he asked, Ed shook his head from side to side.

"Al thinks I go to a study group, and in fairness, I used to. But what he now doesn't know is that I have a part time job."

Roy sighed, what a fucked up kid. Ed wasn't even 16 yet, he didn't need to be working!

"Look Ed-"

"I know! It's stupid to skip meals and keep secrets from my brother! I know okay!? But no one will give us jack of the money our mother left us, because technically our dad's still alive! It's a freaking miracle we got to keep out house! We need the money, since the world doesn't go on pity for two orphaned brothers! But I refuse to worry Al about this - he'd be really upset… so… so please… just don't."

Roy suddenly noticed the uncontrolled tears running down Ed's cheeks as the boy ended his little speech, and detached himself from his desk. He took out a handkerchief from his pocket and used it to dry Ed's eyes.

"Hey…" he said softly, holding Ed's head in place with one hand, and drying tears with the other. "Hey, hey… don't get into such a state, stop crying."

"I c-ca-cant!" choked out the blonde.

"Yes you can." replied Roy. "You are a very brave, very strong person Edward Elric. Now stop crying."

What was he doing? He hated cry babies. Why was he so worried about Ed?

"Yessir." Ed grabbed the hankie, and dried his eyes properly (since Roy was doing an appalling job), trying to calm himself down.

"Aww!" came the cry from the doorway. "Look who got all mothery!", and with that, Roy Mustang tuned out one Maes Hughes.


	6. You Might As Well Stay

**Give Guidance or Counsel**

**Door Handles**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist**

**Rating of Chapter: T**

**Chapter 6 - You Might As Well Stay**

Wednesday the 6th of October

"Tell me more about your pat time work." ordered Mustang, the day after. They day before he had managed to successfully rid the room of Hughes without losing too much of his cool, however, after seeing Roy 'going all mothery' on Ed, it had taken half an hour, and Ed had had to leave almost immediately after if he was ever going to make it home before dark. He still didn't make it. Basically, Roy and Ed had had yet another meeting where they got absolutely nowhere. Now they sat in a group meeting where Ed was glaring heartily at Mustang for asking him a question in front of everybody. Everybody consisting of Miss Lust, Wrath, Mustang and himself. He sighed dramatically before answering.

"It's just some work on the shop floor for a friend of the family."

"This friend would be called…?"

"Teacher…" Ed shook his head forcefully. "I mean, Izumi. She used to be a home tutor for Al and I."

Mustang let a small smile grace his lips, happy that Ed was opening up a little more. Sure, he had asked Ed to answer all his questions, but now the boy was offering up extra information. It was a break through, and he was sure Wrath and Lust had noticed it too, if their unabashed stares were anything to go by.

"And this is how you earn money?"

"Sometimes I help Pinako out around the house and she'll give Al and I some pocket money, or let us stay for a meal."

"And Pinako is?"

Ed bit on his lip, thinking about the best way to describe the old lady.

"Um… our neighbour?"

Mustang nodded, and moved on to questioning Wrath until he checked his watch and told everyone the meeting was over. A little earlier then expected, but two people in his tutor group were ill and he had to make house calls. Ed chose not to question good luck and rushed to meet Al next to his locker. When he arrived Al looked thoroughly bored, leaning against the wall.

"C'mon." he said as Ed neared, "I wanna go visit Winry, and Pinako called saying she needs some help since Winry's bedridden." he explained, Ed nodded is consent and they walked quickly to their neighbours house. Ed stopped on the way to change into a pair of long black shorts and an oversized T-shirt, since that's what he always wore when he was helping Pinako around the house. When he arrived next door, he said a quick hello to an ill looking Winry, and was set to work dusting, hovering, cleaning bathrooms, tidying the living room, washing down the kitchen tops - and he was hanging out the washing to dry in the back garden when the doorbell went. So, when Ed walked back into the living room after he was done with the washing, basket in hands, he did not expect to see Pinako, Winry and Al talking to his counsellor. He hiccupped and dived back out of the room.

"Edward Elric, don't be so rude you little shrimp!" came Pinako's shout. Ed screamed back that if he was a little shrimp what did that make her? And entered the room in a more subdued way.

"Hello Edward." smiled Mustang, all charms and smiles and good looks. He was really good at being charming when he wanted to be. It made Winry sigh in a content way and Al shoot the dark haired man a jealous look for stealing his girlfriend's attention. Ed slumped on the sofa next to his brother, giving Mustang a death glare. "I just came to check up on Winry." Roy said to the room at large, feeling a little bit put-on-the-spot with four people looking directly at him. Pinako smiled.

"That's very kind of you, would you like to stay for dinner?"

Ed and Al's head whipped round to look at Pinako, then back to Mustang, and Ed snorted in amusement.

"No, I couldn't impose."

Al copied his brother amused sound exactly.

"You wouldn't be imposing, I insist."

The two brothers tried, and failed, to stifle their laughter.

"Well… if you insist."

Ed burst out laughing while Al stuffed his fist into his mouth.

"I do… WHAT ARE YOU TWO BOYS LAUGHING ABOUT FOR HEAVENS SAKE!?" screamed Pinako, both boys killed their laughter down and Ed shook his head.

"No, do share Edward." added Mustang. Ed gave him a funny look, as if he couldn't decide whether he should obey Mustangs order, or keep his secret. It wasn't a meeting, but some how he'd very quickly gotten used to answering all of mustangs questions and doing exactly as the man said.

"It's nothing." he said eventually, "You can eat Aunt Pinako's cooking if you want, but keep in mind it's your funeral."

Mustang rose an eyebrow. This tiny lady was Pinako? Shouldn't Ed be grateful to her? And treat her with more respect? Pinako seethed.

"Fine then you little runt! You can cook! I'd like to see you do better!"

"You know I can, old hag!"

"Prove it!"

"I…" Ed glanced at Mustangs amused features. Cooking was girly, even if he was good at it since he'd cooked for Al for years. "I hate cooking."

"Aw… come on brother!" interjected Al into the argument. "Everyone loves your cooking."

"See, Al just proved it for me."

"Well if it's so fantastic, then you wont mind cooking for Mr. Mustang." replied Pinako.

Ed blushed a little at the idea.

"That's not… I… um…"

"I'm looking forward to it." smiled Mustang, being charming again, and Ed found himself agreeing to cook everyone something for dinner that day.

-

Later on Ed found himself in the kitchen, 'slaving' over a hot stove, and Pinako's open apron (a yellow one with different coloured flowers splashed over it) covering him. He also had a tenner in his pocket for his hard work, so he wasn't entirely depressed. He'd put the money in his and Al's makeshift bank account, which was basically a box in their dad's old study. He could hear Pinako talking merrily to Mustang in the next room, Winry had gone back up to bed, and Al was sitting on the top in the kitchen, slightly moody because Winry was ill. So basically, he was in a 'let's tease Ed' mood.

"This is so cute brother! It's like you're his wife or something!" grinned the younger Elric, swinging his legs left and right over the side of the counter. Ed fought down the blush which threatened, stirred the dinner, and took a deep breath.

"What a sexist view you have brother, that the wife should always be in the kitchen." he replied snootily.

"That's not what I meant." pouted Al, "But you have to admit that you've thought about it."

"Thought about what?"

"You being Mustangs wife."

"… Oh." Ed was concentrating on measuring the milk (Oh my God milk! yuck! ew!), to make the sauce. "… Oh, ew! Brother!"

We'll just note that Ed's making vegetable stroganoff from scratch. Vegetarian because he doesn't know if Mustang is or isn't, and he isn't going back in to ask, because that would make it look like he actually cared. We'll also note that making any sauce from scratch is extremely difficult, hence Ed's delayed reaction and general lack of attention to whatever his brother may be saying. We'll also note that Ed isn't using a wine sauce, as if most common in stroganoffs because Pinako wont let him near alcohol. So this is mainly an experiment. So speaks the chef. Lastly, yes, Ed is pissed he had to touch milk. Al just giggled, Ed sighed.

"Why do you care so much anyway?" he asked after a moment's pause. Al's legs stopped swinging, and he seemed to really be thinking about his answer.

"I just want you to be happy." he replied, "And I know you think we're just teasing you, but you've had a physical attraction to him. It's the first step. Me and Winry both, we want you to be happy, and you can't do everything along, no matter how much you try."

"I don't do everything alone." replied Ed, avoiding eye contact with his younger brother.

"You try to. I wish you'd tell me things, but you don't. I'm not stupid Ed, I know when you're not telling me something. I just want you to try it with him. You're attracted to him and you know it! You tried it with Rose, so why not with him? I just want you to find someone you can share things with."

Ed dumped the wooden spoon on the table, and turned the heat to low.

"Isn't that why you sent me to counselling?" he asked in a whisper. "That's why I go. That's why Mustangs still a part of my life at all! I have someone to 'share things with'. I don't _need_ anything more! Don't you realise what you're suggesting is illegal anyway?"

"What are you talking about?" came a recognisable voice from the kitchen doorway. Ed quickly looked up, then away again from Mustangs questioning gaze. "Answer me Edward." he said, very serious all of a sudden.

"It isn't a meeting." replied Ed, looking at his feet.

"Well I'm making it one."

"You can't do that."

"Yes I can, now who, or what, were you talking about Edward?"

"What the fuck do you care?"

"If you're doing something illegal then I need to know."

Ed growled at his feet, this was so highly unfair. Like he was going to admit he was arguing with Al about _him._ But he couldn't let Mustang think he was doing something illegal.

"You can't do this. Torture me as much as you like at school. Heck, if I met you in the street I'd expect the same treatment. But not _here_, not in front of Al. I think of this place as a home. You can't expect me to spill my heart out to you when you've no right to even be here!"

Al jumped off the counter in an attempt to give his brother a hug, and Mustang just watched as Ed was enveloped by a worried Al.

"Edward…" he began, but faltered at the teenager's glare. "Perhaps I should just leave."

He got to the front door and was collecting his coat when Ed grabbed the back of his jumper and swivelled him around. Ed looked at the floor, fidgeting with the bottom of his oversized T-shirt.

"I already made dinner, … so, you might as well stay."

**I'm not sure how you spell Pinako, but that's how I spell it. But I kept typing it as Pinko. Which made me laugh. I had fun writing the kitchen scene when Al was teasing Ed about being Mustang's wife, because I loved how Ed was instantly like 'SEXIST!'. also, I can't cook. So please don't try cooking a stroganoff on my instructions. J**


	7. Weren't Always Insane

-1**Give Guidance or Counsel**

**Door Handles**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist**

**Rating of Chapter: T**

**Chapter 7 - Weren't Always Insane**

Wednesday the 6th of October

After enjoying Ed's very well made vegetable stroganoff, Roy made his excuses and began to pack up his things. Somehow, he and Ed had come to a silent agreement not to mention or dwell over the incident in the kitchen earlier. Roy's back off had been the apology Ed had needed, and Ed's offer for Roy to stay had been the 'apology accepted' Roy had needed. Al and Ed saw Mustang to his car, as they had to walked next door to get to their own home anyway. So after Mustang was speeding off to wherever he lived, It left Ed and Al to have a chat in the living room of their own home, without his interruption.

"So…" said Al slowly as Ed made himself comfortable in his chair. He knew this conversation was coming; he might as well be comfortable for it. "First time you talked about Mustang you were complaining, and all you ever do is complain about him. So tell me why you still go the meetings?" Al reasoned. Ed focused on his lap.

"Because you asked me to go."

"I asked you to go to _one._" Al countered Ed's excuse. Ed fell silent. "Tell me the truth!"

Ed remained silent, feeling like he was being reprimanded for staying out late or something.

"A relationship between a teacher and a student is illegal. Stop trying."

Al sighed dramatically.

"I'm not asking you to go around telling everybody, as long as no one knows -"

"Al!" Ed glared, clenching the material of his shorts, something he does when he's angry or upset. "Even if Roy was willing to enter into a hushed up relationship with an underage teen who doesn't know jack about how relationship's even work, which I doubt he is, it's _still _illegal! Besides, I still don't know how I feel about him."

"You love him." supplied Al, Ed leapt to his feet.

"No I don't! You said it yourself - I may be physically attracted to him, I won't deny that anymore, but all I ever do is complain about him, because he's still a bastard." he seethed. Al frowned, and began to say something to counteract, but Ed held up a hand to stop him. "Grow up Al, even if I was head over heels and so was he, it's still illegal." and with that the short blonde stomped upstairs to bed. Al sighed, he really didn't care if it was illegal, because it was right, and it would make his brother happy. He wished Ed and Mr. Mustang could see that. But perhaps they needed more time, because it was obvious that right now they were not in a heated, passionate, _loving_ relationship.

Thursday the 7th of October

The next day, which is a Thursday by the way, see above, Ed received his next slip through tutor register. It stated the next session would be held off for a little bit, due to things outside of school control. Ed was glad he had a little more time to prepare, since after last night he was entirely sure he couldn't face Mustangs arrogant smirk. The boy sighed dramatically. People in this story do that a lot. In fact, Ed did this on various occasions throughout the day, but it was nearing the end of the day when someone brought him up on his 'woe-is-me' behaviour, and that person was, of course, the inquisitive Winry.

"Jeez Ed, you're acting like your dog just died." she said as they were walking out of school. Ed gave her a funny look.

"I don't have a dog." he reasoned, Winry rolled her eyes.

"It's an _expression_." she said in a 'duh' tone of voice.

"No it isn't." Ed countered, searching through the figures of speeches and whatnot in his mind. Yes, remember - boy genius.

"It is now. Now what's the matter?" Winry bit out, anger slowly rising. Ed sighed again, which made Winry hold a hand to her forehead, and look to Al for help; but Al was ignoring the situation, just like he'd been ignoring his brother since their argument last night. Winry looked between the two boys, her anger sinking into worry, what has happened yesterday when she'd been ill with her 24 hour bug?

"Ed… Al?" she asked attentively, "Did you want to talk about it?" she swallowed as Ed looked up from looking at his shoes. Al was still staring at a tree they were coming up to. Ed studied Winry silently for a moment before nodding.

"Yeah… you're right. I'll go find Mustang." he smirked, and then turned on his heel and left, heading back into school grounds. Winry blinked at the spot he had just stood, and even Al stopped staring at his tree.

"Did he just say he'd willingly go find Mr. Mustang?" Winry grinned, Al gave his girlfriend as half smile.

-

Ed walked very slowly once he was out of sight of the other two blondes, he'd only said that to piss off Al, he really had no intention of finding the Colonel.

… wait, since when had he referred to the bastard by his school nickname? He shook his head, walking in a two steps forward, one step back fashion down the hallway where his locker was situated. Once he arrived he flicked it open and rummaged around inside, he barely ever cleared it out. Eventually he pulled out the object he had to study in detail for his Art class; a door handle. Ed turned it over twice in his hands, Armstrong really set the most boring assignments, even if he made them sound interesting when he described them. What's so fascinating about a door handle anyway? He let his locker bang shut and once more turned the object around in his hands.

"I really am thinking about putting 'unhealthy obsession with door handles' on your list of problems."

Ed jumped out of his skin at the sound of a voice in the deserted corridor. He fumbled with the mentioned object and glared daggers at the smug looking Mustang - so much for having time to prepare.

"So Edward, should I write it down or not?" the elder teased.

"If it's a list of problems then you should write Roy Mustang in capital letters."

Roy just smirked.

"Just because you and your brother are fighting, there's no need to take it out on me." Ed felt himself blush a little.

"How do you know me and Al are…" Ed trailed off, he and Al never really fought, it was strange to try and say it.

"Hawkeye told me you were ignoring each other when I went to check up on you."

"Why are you checking up on me!?" exclaimed Ed.

"That's my job, it's how I ear my keep, the more nutcases I make sane, the more they pay me."

Ed snarled at the floor.

"Is that all you care about?" he asked his shoes. They didn't answer, and neither did Mustang. They stood in silence for a bit until Mustang spoke again.

"I have to earn money to be able to live. You of all people should know that." he stated. Ed looked up to see the man staring at the lockers. Ed sighed, looking around the deserted corridor, and suddenly feeling increasingly awkward.

"That didn't answer me question."

"You don't really do or don't, because 'is that all you care about?' isn't the question you want to ask."

Ed glared.

"What the fuck do you know?" he seethed at Mustangs assuming remark. He felt a rough hand rest on his head, Mustang very lightly ruffled Ed's soft hair. The movement was so light that Ed could barely feel it.

"How about, 'don't you care about me?'?" he asked, removing his hand and looking at the now flustered Edward. "I've never cared about any of the mental cases sent to me Edward." he explained. Ed gulped and caught Mustangs gaze with his own.

"How can you say that? How can you not care about them when you mean the world to them?" he asked, biting his lip at Mustangs 'better-then-though' look.

"Do I mean the world to you Edward?" Ed blushed heavily and glared at his shoes again.

"You didn't answer my question." he protested, Mustang sighed, bringing a hand to his own head and ruffling up his own flawless hair.

"What does it matter?" he asked the blonde, his volume rose slightly, "It doesn't help to get attached to an insane person!"

"What if they're not insane!? What then?"

"They're always…" Mustang looked down again at the boy clenching his fists at his side. They weren't always insane. "You didn't answer my question." he echoed the boys own words. "Do I mean the world to you?"

Ed looked Mustang directly in the eyes before looking down at his battered old shoes again.

"You don't mean jack shit to me." he whispered, not looking up. Mustang swallowed.

"Come see me tomorrow in my office, it's on the 2nd floor of the psychology building." he commanded, walking away down the corridor. Ed watched him go, feeling angry and upset.


	8. Everyone Calls Me Ed

-1**Give Guidance or Counsel**

**Door handles**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist**

**Rating of Chapter: T**

**Chapter 8 - Everyone Calls Me Ed**

Friday the 8th of October

Winter was creeping in to Amestris Central High, and Central on a whole was feeling the effects of the frosty season. No matter how many times Ed reminded himself that he was walking into school, and Amestris Central High had 'High' in the title, he was feeling on an all time low as he bundled himself up in layer after layer and watched as the snow swirled around him. Sure, snow was pretty, but I was so damn cold! On a brighter note, he and Al were now on speaking terms again. After returning him yesterday and complaining about how much of a bastard mustang was, Al had relented and swept his angry and confused brother into a bone crushing hug. The two brothers hated being mad at each other, and were very happy to be in each other's good books again. Of course, now Al was plotting a diabolical revenge on Mustang for upsetting his poor brother - not that Ed needed to know as much.

"Edward Elric! Stop your emo-ness right this instant and cheer up before you enter these halls of education!" screeched Winry, ever the drama queen. Ed grumbled a retort under his breath and pulled his hat further down over his ears. He hated being cold, the walk to school was a long one, so he wasn't looking forward to the end of the day when he'd have to do it again. The weather report had said it was just gong to get colder, and he wouldn't even have Al and Winry to distract him as he had to stay after school for Mustangs meeting. Al and Winry were apparently taking the time to go on a romantic winter wonderland date. The snow was romantic in Winry's eyes, it was just _cold_ in Ed's. It was amazing that in the very first days of October it was already snowing. It wasn't even properly winter yet! October the 8th had Ed in bad spirits.

"We'll see you later tonight then." Winry gave him a quick sisterly hug before ushering him into his tutor's room. Hawkeye gave him a confirming sort of nod as he took his seat. They day seemed to fly by, (or rather, I can't be assed to write about it), and before Ed knew it he was dawdling down the second floor of the psychology corridor, looking for Mustang's office. He stopped outside an old wooden door with a blue plaque which read: Mr. R. Mustang; Guidance Counsellor. The lettering was white, but some kids had coloured in a few letters so it read R. Stan; Guide Sellor. Ed wasn't sure how it was funny. The handle was rusty, but underneath the orangey erosion the metal was cold and ark. The psychology building was rarely eve used fully, and Ed doubted Mustang got many visitors. It was almost as if the school was trying to put Mustang out of the way. Ed debated whether he should knock, or just go straight in - this was his office after all, he had to have some respect while there.

"Hey Ed!" Ed jumped at the sound of a voice and gave a shaky smile to his PE teacher, Havoc. "What you doing in the East Boss?" Havoc had a habit of calling him Boss ever since he'd seen Ed's extensive martial art skills.

"The East?" questioned the teen. Havoc gave a laid back laugh - he'd always been one of Ed's favourite teachers.

"Yeah, it's what us teachers call this part of the school. It's not the east of the school, but it's pretty barren, and reminds me of East of Central… course, I grew up in the East!" heh…" Ed gave an understanding nod - he grew up in Resembol, East of Central too.

"So what part's West?" he asked, a little interested now.

"Oh… Art's department and that area, since West always looks so pretty." Ed nodded in agreement, though he'd never been West. "English and History and Geography got North, since they're all about culture. And maths and science is Central."

Ed considered the decisions.

"What about South?" he asked after a moment. Havoc gave him a grin.

"Can't you guess? Well neither can I!" he smiled. Ed's face fell, then he reflected and realised that people down south were very varied. He nodded and gave his teacher a smile. "So, what are you doing in the East Ed?" Havoc asked again, Ed looked back at Mustangs aging door.

"Visiting Mustang - but I don't really want to." He pouted, havoc gave an understanding nod.

"He can be a bit of a jerk, but he's a good man. He'll do anything for his patients." said the teacher with an air of reminiscing. Ed scowled.

"Yeah, so he can get paid." he muttered. Havoc gave another patient smile.

"That may be a part of it, but it's mainly cuz he really cares about whoever comes to talk to him." Ed gently kicked the wall next to Roy's office door.

"S'not what he told me." he pouted.

"Course he wouldn't tell you. He's got way too much pride. 'sides, he doesn't wanna get too involved."

Ed shrugged a little.

"I don't see why not. We're not all mental." he sighed, Havoc ruffled his hair, much more forcefully then Mustang had done the night before.

"I don't think it's anything to do with that." he began, watching Ed's subdued body language. "We all have selfish reasons for doing something - you think Roy only cares about the money, and a lot of people think Roy only cares about promotions, but they're only secondary reasons."

Ed sighed, giving Havoc a searching look.

"I don't get it." he finally announced, Havoc took his hand from Ed's hair and placed it on his shoulder.

"Look Ed - Roy took this job to redeem himself, it's a really long story, and not really mine to tell, but even if he started out with selfish reasons, now he really does care. If he tells you he doesn't then he's lying. He may not know it, but people like you, who just need someone to talk to, mean everything to him."

Ed vented by kicking the wall again.

"But why?" he asked, "and why doesn't he know?" he looked at his feet, knowing that question came out childishly. Havoc gave a small chuckle.

"You guys mean everything to him because you make him feel like he can make a difference, and protect you. And yeah, maybe that is selfish - but who really gives a fuck?"

Ed looked up at the sound of the curse.

"As for your other question - grown ups don't know everything Ed, you should know that by now." Ed nodded silently. "Roy's too naïve to know he's proud, and too proud to say he's naïve. It's a dangerous combination, but he's a harmless guy. Yes, he's selfish, but not for the reasons you believe."

Ed studied his PE teacher, who suddenly seemed very wise.

"You make it sound like he's the one that needs counselling." he stated eventually. Havoc gave an easy grin, which replaced his serious look.

"Well, maybe he does." he answered, before giving a wave and wondering off down the hallway. Ed once again found himself alone in the second floor psychology corridor, willing himself to knock on Roy Mustang's door. Eventually, he did, three soft knocks and he heard Mustangs voice call him inside.

"Edward… you're late." he supplied. Ed nodded, skipping whatever sarcastic remark came to mind, and studying the man sat behind the old wooden desk. This also had a plaque with his name on it, but the kids with colours hadn't gotten to these letters, and it still proudly read: R. Mustang. Mustang put his elbows on the desk, criss-crossed his fingers and rested his chin on the bridge they made, staring directly at Ed.

"Something bothering you?" he asked when the blonde stayed quiet for an uncanny amount of time. Ed shook his head silently, something which worried Mustang further.

"Edward…"

"Everyone calls me Ed." piped up the blonde, staring at Mustangs name plaque. Mustang blinked a few times before:

"You introduced yourself as _Edward_ Elric."

Ed shuffled slightly, putting his hands behind his back and swaying a little.

"Well, I'm reintroducing myself - I'm Ed, pleased to meet you." he said sweetly, but like it had been rehearsed. Roy got the feeling Ed's mother had drilled in basic manners before she died, which is why Ed hadn't hesitated to put 'pleased to meet you' at the end of his introduction.

"I'll still call you Edward." he replied.

"Whhyy?" Ed whined before he could stop himself. Mustang gave his signature smirk.

"There are too many Ed's in the world. You're too original, Edward is more original." he explained, Ed pouted.

"There are too many Roy's in the world too! Colonel is more original!" he teased. Roy rose a well practised eyebrow.

"Call me Colonel if you so wish. It won't deter me."

Ed glared, "Edward isn't even original!" he countered. Roy leant back in his chair and surveyed the teen.

"The how about…. Fullmetal?" he asked after a pregnant pause. Ed adopted a taken back look, and made an odd movement which looked like he'd gone to grab his right arm.

"Err…"

"It's original, and it suits you. Stubborn brat."

Ed waved away the insult.

"Um… okay." he agreed, "Call me Fullmetal. And I'll call you Colonel. That way we're both original!" he nodded, suddenly feeling a child like excitement flow through him. He'd never had such a cool nickname before, and he'd never used a nickname for anyone before… a real nickname, not just a shortened down version of the original name. Mustang rolled his eyes at Ed's comic behaviour, although he wasn't all too happy with the idea of being called Colonel again. He hadn't thought Ed would actually take up the offer.

"As you wish… Fullmetal." said the man, watching with an amused smirk as Ed tried to stop his face from lighting up (Ed failed miserably), Mustang shot a glance out of his small office window and watched the rain and snow mix before hitting the ground and turning into slush. He gave an exaggerated sigh and looked at the boy, bundled in two T-shirts, a jumper and a coat, looking like he didn't know what to do all of a sudden. "C'mon Fullmetal, I guess I'll take you home."


	9. Long Story Short

-1**Give Guidance or Counsel**

**Door Handles**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist**

**Rating of Chapter: T**

**Chapter 9 - Long Story Short**

Friday the 8th of October

Roy was completely silent as he held the door of his car open for Ed. The blonde blushed and muttered something about not being one of Mustang's dates, but got in anyway - fuck, it was _cold_. Mustang had a large black Vectra with fabric seat, an MP3 plug in, and compartments for like… everything. Ed had to admit it was a comfortable car, and it was warm, but what struck Ed as odd was that it was a family car. He was fairly certain Mustang didn't have a family, if we remember Lily, so why splash out on a family car? He was going to ask, but got half way through the first word when Roy interrupted, saying:

"Shut up, I'm concentrating."

Ed glanced at the man, who was watching the road carefully.

"Are you that bad at driving?" he muttered, sort of surprised he hadn't been snapped at again. Roy watched a motorbike overtake them before answering quietly.

"Yes. I'm terrible."

Ed rolled his eyes. "Then why the hell let me get in the car?" he teased. Roy pulled up to some traffic lights and kept his eyes on the road.

"You can get out if you want."

Ed looked he swirling snow.

"No thanks." he replied. "Besides, I don't think you're that bad at driving."

"I usually don't take students as passengers." Roy stated, pulling away as the light turned green. Ed gave him another side long glance.

"Are students different from other passengers?" he asked, gripping the seat lightly as Roy turned a corner. He glanced in the mirror to see Roy give a short, jerky sort of nod. The car stopped as a lollypop lady stepped out in front of them.

"I hate having students as passengers." the elder stated as he watched the kids walk slowly across the road.

"Why?" questioned Ed, watching Roy's facial expressions through a series of short looks and glances. Roy gulped loudly.

"Did I mention I used to be a teacher?" he asked, Ed nodded, then vocalised the action when he realised Roy wasn't about to take his eyes off the road any time soon. They had started moving again. Roy took a little while to speak again, and Ed was beginning to wonder if he was just teasing, saying all teachers hate students.

"I used to organise a yearly camping trip to the mountains in the east. I'd run a bunch of kid's up in a minibus." Roy began his tale, Ed kept his eyes trained on his lap, so as not to make the man feel awkward. "One year, it was raining pretty hard up on the roads near Resembol… Do you know where that is?"

Ed nodded. "I grew up there."

"Oh… well, long story short, I crashed really badly. A lot of the kids were seriously injured, although thankfully not fatally so, and they took my minibus licence off of me. Well, I gave it up actually." he sighed, "The people in the other car weren't so lucky… they died. I… I killed some little girls parents."

Ed let out a strangled gasp which made Roy pull over to the side of the road, slam his foot on the break and check if he was okay. Ed gave him a shocked, saddened look.

"Did you ever meet that little girl?" he asked, in a shaky voice. Roy shook his head.

"I went to the funeral, but I didn't see her there."

"Did you know their last name?" Ed asked instead, Roy blinked, then:

"I can't forget it. Rockbell."

Ed let out another gasp and held a hand over his mouth, his eyes filling with tears as he looked at Roy.

"Winry…" he sobbed, which eventually made Roy let out a gasp of his own, eyes widening.

"Her name… is…" He said slowly, realisation dawning on his features as he slumped back in his seat. Ed undid his seatbelt and sat up straighter.

"She's in your tutor group! You never thought to check if it was her parents you killed?!" he accused, fists clenching, his deep friendship with Winry making him more angry then we would have been had it been any other girls parents.

"I never… we don't get many students from out East… it never crossed my mind." Roy muttered. Ed let out another sob and opened his sides door, getting out.

"I'll walk the rest of the way!" he told the man inside, slamming the door. Roy looked out at the cold rain and snow, then in the mirror at his own dead looking eyes. Winry was the little girl who's parents he'd killed? Watching Ed walk down the street, he couldn't blame him for choosing deathly cold over him.

-

Ed didn't go back to the terraced house he and Al shared in Central, instead he walked a little bit further down the street to the slightly larger house Winry lived in with Pinako. He rang the doorbell twice and knocked loudly, and when Winry opened the door with an annoyed look plastered on her face, Ed grabbed her by the shoulders and pulled her into a fierce hug. After a couple of seconds of being confused, she returned it full force and dragged her friend inside. Al was sat on one of the sofas when Winry came in, looking confused, with Ed clinging to her, tears streaming down his face. So he asked the most reasonable question he could think of.

"What did Mustang do?"

Ed began sobbing harder again at the sound of that _bastards_ name. Winry didn't even know that her tutor was responsible for her parents death! Mustang _killed_ his best friends parents. He remembered how much Winry had cried back then and sobbed harder - what would Winry do if she know she'd tried to get Ed to open up to the man who killed her parents? He didn't think he'd ever forgive himself for actually doing so. He'd shared so much with Mustang, he'd even cooked him dinner in _Winry's_ house. And now this? He felt personally betrayed.

"Ed, what's up?" asked Winry, Ed clung harder to her and tried to control his tears.

"Win…" he got out between sobs. "He… it was him… your parents… he… I… Winry!"

Understanding dawned on Winry's face, and she clutched him more forcefully, now knowing what this was al about and sort of happy that Ed would cry for her like this. She already knew. She'd known since the first time she'd seen him; Roy Mustang had crashed into her parents car and that crash had killed them. Mustang had sent a very large sum of money, even though Winry and Pinako hadn't pressed charges, along with his ripped up minibus licence, three new dresses and a teddy bear for Winry. Along with a sincere letter saying he knew the gifts wouldn't bring her parents back, but if he could, he would, a thousand times over. He'd even attended the funeral, though Winry hadn't seen him there. Pinako and Winry hardly couldn't forgive him, it had, after all, been an accident. She never brought it up with her tutor because it would send him into more despair then she. She gave Ed's forehead a light, sisterly kiss.

"It's okay Ed. I know. I've forgiven him. We forgave him way back then Ed."

Ed stifled his sobs.

"But Win…"

"No. Stop crying. I should apologise for not telling you, but he didn't know, and I liked it that way." Winry sighed, "I'll give him a ring, I think Granny still has his phone number somewhere…"

Al chose this time to pipe up - "Who? What?" Winry shot him a look, you know the ones girlfriends give when their boyfriends are being idiots?

"I'll tell you later Al, do you have anything you need to say to him?" she directed to Ed. Ed nodded. He had no idea, Winry had already forgiven him? If that was truly the case then he should probably give Mustang an apology for losing control of his emotions and storming away.

Winry got the number from Pinako's phone book and they made their way upstairs to where Winry's phone was. Ed was fairly certain she wanted a private conversation with him, hence why she went upstairs, but he wanted to hear her tell _him_ she forgiven him, and so followed her anyway. She sat down on her bed and dialled the number, motioning for Ed to sit down too. The phone rang for a long time before there was a click and a strangled 'hello'. Winry changed the phone settings so it was no longer on speaker phone, something she tended to keep it on so she could talk to her friends for hours while moving around.

"Hell Mr. Mustang. It's Winry Rockbell." Even if the phone wasn't on speakerphone, Ed could still hear the surprised gasp/sob on the other end.

Winry went on to explain why she was calling and to tell him that she'd forgiven him, it took a very long time to explain how she knew and why she hadn't brought it up, but Ed listened to every word the girl said, still shocked as to what he ahs learnt today and wondering if he'd ever look at Mustang the same way again. Eventually Winry finished her story.

"Yes, Mr. Mustang?… Ed wanted to say something to you…" and Winry handed over the phone, Ed held it to his ear with a slightly shaking hand.

"Mustang?" he questioned.

"Edwa… Ed." replied Mustang, Ed frowned down the phone.

"Don't call me that. I don't ever want you to call me that again!" he told the man. Mustang swallowed.

"I was just thinking…"

"Don't! You're not very good at it!" Ed said before he could stop himself, then blushed, glad Mustang couldn't see him. "Um… sorry sir." he said, he heard a sigh.

"Don't apologise, you're right. I'm terrible at it."

Ed blushed some more.

"Actually, I meant about earlier. Sorry for what I did and said, I reacted harshly because Winry's my best friend. But… sorry. And actually… I think you're very good at it… Colonel."

Roy, on the other end of the line, felt a smile take over his face. Somehow, being called Colonel didn't seem so bad anymore.

"Alright, thank you, Fullmetal." he said, Ed made a cute noise and hung up.

-

"Eeeed?" asked Winry sweetly later on that evening, after she'd filled Al in on the blanks and they were all sitting in her living room watching a movie. "What, exactly, is Mr. Mustang good at?" she asked. Ed decided to not answer that question.


	10. A Stray Cat Trying To Commit Suicide

-1**Give Guidance or Counsel**

**Door Handles**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist**

**Rating of Chapter: T**

**Chapter 10 - A Stray Cat Trying to Commit Suicide**

Fan site says Ed's birthday is Eleventh of October. So I am using that.

Saturday the 9th of October

On Saturday Ed stayed at home, trying to read through his chemistry text book (and _this_ is why he's a boy genius) while his thoughts of the now very complicated relationship between he and Mustang continued to invade his mind relentlessly. He was still having trouble believing he'd thought the man who had (admittedly accidentally) killed his best friends parents as attractive. During their short car journey together, Ed was probably just about to admit to himself that Mustang was someone who he may, possible, have 'feelings' for. Yet, after the devastating truth had come out, he'd gone back to stage one: denial. Mustang was still the attractive, confident person Ed had become attached to, yet how could he feel tat way when he'd been the cause of death for Winry's parents? Still, Winry had forgive him… Ed subconsciously thumbed the page he was supposedly reading.

Sunday the 10th of October

On Sunday, his pattern repeated itself, while Ed had switched his book to his Computer Technology book, not really focusing on the size 10 Arial sprawled across the pages.

Monday the 11th of October

It was on Monday, when Ed woke up in the morning and reached for his physics book, that Al burst into the room, closely followed by Winry, carrying neatly wrapped gifts.

"Get up brother! I know we have school today, but we'll still celebrate!" gushed Al, depositing his present on the end of Ed's bed. Ed eyed the gift, and then his text book. He'd completely forgotten it was even Monday, which meant school, and also, his birthday.

"I forgot." he verbalised, putting his book back down next to his bed.

"You forgot your own birthday?" screeched Winry, also placing down her gift. "What on earth could you be thinking about so much you forgot your birthday?" she asked.

Ed refused to say Mustang, and yet, the answer to that question would be; Mustang.

And so, after quickly tearing open his gifts and finding he'd received two books on the ancient art of Alchemy (something Ed was interested in), from Al, and a cookbook, a new coat, and a promise for a free dinner from Winry and Pinako, he and his two friends got ready and power walked to school, since they were running late - again.

At break Ed got a 'happy birthday' from Rose, who was passing, and just remembered everyone's birthdays. And at Lunch, Winry brought a cupcake from the cafeteria, and stuck a candle in it, insisting he blow it out once she and Al had belted out 'happy birthday' like drowning rats. It was on his way to 5th class, from 4th, when Ed ran in to Maes Hughes. Big mistake.

"Edo!" yelled the man, resting a hand on each or Ed's shoulder so he couldn't run away. "How're you? How's school? It's been ages since we last spoke huh? I didn't get a chance to when Roy was pushing me out of the room! Oh well! He means well. Actually, I've been looking for him, he'd promised he'd celebrate with us today!"

Ed blinked twice, then;

"Celebrate what?"

"Elysia's birthday of course!" gushed the doting father in Hughes, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "Will you be celebrating with us?" he asked, Ed shook his head quickly.

"I have my own birthday to celebrate." he explained. "I'd come along, but Al and Win would go nuts."

Hughes pulled out paper and pen from his pockets and quickly scribbled something down, very so often glancing at Ed to make sure he was still there.

"Nonsense." he said, once he was done. "Get Mustang to take you, and your friends - goodness knows his car's big enough - to mine after school. We can have a joint party. Gracia's (that's my wife) cooking is amazing!"

Ed tried to decline, but;

"And while your at it, could you give this to him? Thanks. Happy birthday Edo!" he finished, shoving the note in Ed's hands and leaving the boy to scramble to get to his next class in time.

At the end of class 5, Ed met with Al and Winry near his locker and dragged them off to Mustang's office. They shared a teasing smile, but left it at that; it was his birthday after all. Ed knocked softly on Mustang's door, and it was pulled open by a surprised looking Hawkeye.

"You have a meeting today? I thought he…" she trailed off, Ed blushed and shook his head. "Well, I was just leaving, so he's all yours." Ed just blushed harder. It seemed even the teachers had a thing about making him squirm. He watched Hawkeye leave before entering the office. Al and Winry took it upon themselves to stay outside, which just agitated Ed further.

Mustang was reading through what looked like a long and boring report, and seemed glad of an excuse to stop.

"Hello Fullmetal." he grinned, trying to keep the edge of awkwardness out of his voice. Ed tried as well, but he failed.

"Um… hi." he replied, "Hughes asked me to give this to you." he carried on, presenting the note. He had decided to skip over Hughes order to get Roy to take he and his friends to Hughes' home. Roy had groaned at the sound of his friends name, but took the note anyway and quickly read it through, raising his eyebrows. He spoke up as Ed was heading for the door.

"Happy birthday." he said quietly, Ed stopped with his hand on the door handle and turned to look at him.

"How did you…?" he trailed off as Mustang held up the note he'd received.

"Apparently I have an obligation to take you and two friends to a celebratory dinner at Hughes'." he explained, even though Ed had already figured out that Hughes had tricked him. Hughes had known Ed wouldn't look at the note, and that he wouldn't ask.

"That bastard…"

Mustang just chuckled.

"Maybe so, where are your two friends?"

Ed's eyes widened, how could he not see that it would cause a problem if Mustang and Winry were in a _car_ together? It was too harsh on both of them. He bit his lip and looked at the floor.

"Al and Win are outside… but…"

Mustang grabbed his car keys and pulled on a jacket.

"That's good, I need to talk to Winry anyway."

-

And that was how Ed found himself once again in Mustang's car (this time in the back), in dead silence. Winry was sat up front, reassuring Mustang that she wasn't angry or upset, while Mustang was acting like this was his driving test, and if he failed the car would blow up. Al was talking (as quietly as he could so Mustang didn't snap at him, which had already happened twice), on the phone to Pinako, explaining why they were going to be home late, and no, he wasn't 'deflowering' Winry.

After 6 traffic lights, 14 junctions, 2 roundabouts, a crossing lady and a stray cat trying to commit suicide on Roy's bonnet, (the man swore every cuss under the sun and took a good 15 minutes to calm down, while Ed tried to quiet his laughter and Al was feeling sorry for the cat), they pulled up outside a house with '4 today' banners taped across the door and windows. The four guests were welcomed into the house by Hughes, wearing suit trousers and a purple shirt.

"Elysia's in the kitchen with her mummy, why not go say 'happy birthday' huh?" he 'suggested', before forcefully leading them to the kitchen where a little girl was prancing around in a pink dress.

"Happy Birthday!" greeted Winry at once, a huge smile on her face. Her happy exclamation made the woman in a green dress and beige cardigan turn from her cooking and survey the three teens her husband had adopted. Gracia dawned a shocked expression, while Al gasped and Ed shouted;

"Oh my God! It's you!"

Gracia smiled.

"Well, what a coincidence! Maes, meet the boys that helped deliver out baby!"

A confused silence engulfed the room, before Winry broke it.

"Huh?"

Al and Ed gave identical embarrassed laughs, Al now playing games with Elysia and Ed standing awkwardly in the doorway, ruffling his hair.

"She's over exaggerating. All we did was run around screaming thinking she was gunna die."

Gracia giggled, and Mustang couldn't help the snort of laughter which escaped him at the image of the brothers doing as Ed had described.

"If Alphonse hadn't called a doctor, and you kept the water warm, and helped the doctor out, the Elysia may not be the healthy little girl she is today." said Gracia, "I owe you two a lot, and I'm glad Elysia gets to share her birthday with you."

"Wait…" piped up Winry, "What exactly happened?"

Ed gave a nostalgic smile.

"When he first came to Central, a year before you did, to claim Hohenheim's house, we got lost while we were trying to get some grocery shopping done. Gracia took us in, and put up with us for a whole day while we ate her food and studied her road map. Then, while she was feeding us dinner, most wonderful woman that she is, she want into labour…" Ed began the story, Al finished it.

"We panicked, I rang the doctor, and we tried to look after her… we weren't very good though." the teen laughed.

"Why wasn't Maes there?" asked Mustang, interested in the story.

""There was a blizzard that night." said Hughes, leaning against the counter, "I got stuck in a huge traffic jam, and by the time I got home Elysia had already been born and the doctor, and the boys, had already left. Gracia told me about two blonde brothers who had really helped out, but it didn't click that it was Ed and Al."

Mustang surveyed the two boys. Al, who was sitting on the kitchen floor with Elysia captivated by a story he was now telling her about a rabbit with bad eyesight, and Ed, who, embarrassed by the story of them helping with Elysia, was trying to get Gracia let him help out with cooking.

"Looks like the Elric Brothers are heroes." he announced to the room at large. Al laughed and Ed's ears went pink, which made Al laugh harder, and Winry shoot Ed a teasing look.

"They most certainly are," agreed Gracia, "And a birthday boy should not be trying to cook his own birthday dinner. Maes! Tell him to relax! It's his birthday!" she added, jokingly glaring at Ed, Hughes steered the party out of the kitchen, and sat them all in the living area.

"Uncle Roy! Uncle Roy!" squealed the little girl, tugging on his trouser leg, Roy looked down.

"What did you get me?" he asked innocently, Roy rose an eyebrow, and pointed to a large stuffed toy which had not been there before hand. Elysia squealed and attacked it, earning an amused smile from Mustang. Ed sat down on the sofa next to his counsellor, watching the four year old.

"Do you dote on her?" he asked quietly, checking that Al, Winry and Hughes were all engaged in conversation.

"Hmm." responded the dark haired man, "It's nice to be able to splash out on someone who doesn't go all awkward when you do."

Ed smiled, "You liked to spoil people don't you?"

Roy gave a non-committal shrug.

"You like to protect people." Ed pressed.

Again, he shrugged.

"I guess."

"Do you want kids? You'd probably make a good dad."

Roy gave Ed a searching look, wondering where this sudden willingness for conversation had come from, and stretched out in his seat. Ed coloured under the gaze, and determinedly watched Elysia play with her new bear. Roy sighed.

"I don't think having children would agree with me." he eventually replied, Ed glanced sidelong at him. "I lose patience too easily. I'd like someone in my life who I can dote on and protect, but I'd prefer that person to also be someone I can talk to."

Ed nodded.

"Like a girlfriend?" he asked. Roy gave him another searching look.

"Maybe… as long as she can think for herself, and actually try before asking for my help. That's what I hate about women."

Ed looked back at Elysia.

"You're pretty complicated Colonel. You'd never get a girlfriend with that attitude.

"Doesn't matter, I'm hot." All Ed's hopes that Mustang was an alright guy went out the window. "Besides, so are you - complicated I mean."

"I'm in counselling. What are you doing?"


	11. Did it Hurt When You Fell From Heaven?

**Give Guidance or Counsel**

**Door Handles**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist**

**Rating of Chapter: T**

**Chapter 11 - Did it Hurt When You Fell From Heaven?**

I'd like to say that the little bit of French used in this may or may not be right - my source was my brother, and we all know how reliable brothers are. J Either way, its supposed to mean 'fuck me'. If anyone knows French, and knows that isn't right, then tell me in a review and I'll change it.

Monday the 11th of October

When Gracia announced dinner they all sat around the table and ate heartily, much to Gracia's delight. After Ed had pretty much inhaled his meal, and a lot of Al's, the whole party eventually finished and said their thanks, and the two birthday were presented with a home made cake. Ed was forced to endure _the _song again for the second time that day, only difference was he now had Elysia to share his pain. He was then told to blow the candles out, and he pulled Elysia on to his lap and helped her make a wish before she blew the candles out. This was her party after all, he was just gate crashing. Although, he did make a wish, no one can resist making a wish when given the opportunity, and his birthday only came once a year.

Hughes drove them home and Pinako told them off for getting back so late. Ed and Al were happy to escape next door, poor Winry had to sleep in the same house. And that was how Ed came to be lying awake on his bed, listening to his brother's snores next door and muttering over the wish he made.

_I wish Mustang can find someone to protect_

he sighed and turned over, wrapping the covers tighter around him. Was it just that Mustang was on his mind? He would usually wish for he and Al to sort out their finances, and live normally. He'd never really believed in wishes, but it never hurt to try right? So why was it that he was suddenly being so selfless and wishing Mustang found happiness, or whatever? He had to remind himself that he was supposed to hate his counsellor, no matter how attractive he might be. He pouted and flung his nose into his pillow, trying to drown out his frustrated groans so his ever attentive little brother didn't come rushing into the room, demanding to know what was wrong: something Al was prone to doing.

Tuesday the 12th of October

"I lost my number, can I have yours?"

"That's just bad."

"May I borrow a map? I got lost in your eyes."

"That was worse."

"Shall I call heaven to tell them they're missing an angel?"

"Where are you getting these from?"

"Baise moi."

Ed hit Mustang round the side of the head. He was now severely regretting taking French. Mustang nursed his head and gave a dramatic sigh.

"Now really Edward. Was that completely necessary?"

Ed just glared, _about as necessary as your perverted chat up lines, _he thought. The two had been sat facing each other, cross legged, for three hours, firing insults at each other. First Ed had been called for a one-to-one, and Mustang had began the meeting at Ed's lack of the ability to grow. After a few childish remarks from both parties, Ed had told Mustang it wasn't _his _fault Roy was freakishly large in all areas. The Colonel had smirked and that ended _that_ conversation. The two then began an entirely different argument, until Roy blurted out;

"Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?"

Ed had thirty whole seconds of complete silence before he replied.

"Where the freaking hell did _that_ come from you perverted old geezer!?"

Mustang replied with;

"Are you a parking ticket, cuz you've got FINE written all over you."

Ed was quicker with his reaction.

"No I'm not!" - evidently he was a little flustered.

"Have you got sore feet, cuz you've been running through my mind all day."

… and this pattern continued till Ed gave up, and we caught up to where Ed began using violence.

"Really Colonel, have any of those ever actually _worked_ for you?" asked the blonde, giving his counsellor a wary look. Mustang gave Ed his signature smirk.

"Only when my targets really drunk, and on those occasions I'm usually fairly out of it myself."

The teen tried to imagine a drunk Colonel trying to lure an equally drunk woman into bed with 'If I said you had a nice body, would you hold it against me?'. Somehow he found he didn't like that idea too much.

"You can stop looking so scared Fullmetal, it was only an exercise. It's my job remember." Ed glared at him.

"I hate your job." he also couldn't see how getting chatted up by Mustang was supposed to help him. "You're supposed to make me sane, not make me fall for you."

Ed looked up in time to see a slightly shocked expression on his counsellor's face.

"Am I making you fall for me?" asked the older man, Ed's eyes widened and his face blanched as he realised how his comment must have sounded . He shook his head feverishly.

"I… uh… That came out wrong!" he explained, Mustang gave a small laugh and leant back, stretching out so he was laying down. The two were on the ground, surrounded by desks and chairs, so if anyone where to glance into the room, they probably wouldn't have spotted them. Ed watched the man stretch, tense, and relax, looking at the ceiling. They were silent for awhile, listening to the clock tick away the time. Ed leant back against one of the desk legs and closed his eyes. Outside the last rays of orange sun were swallowed p by midnight blue. Neither man really noticed, and Ed was willing to bet Mustang had just fallen asleep, when his melodic voice filled the room.

"There's always been answers before." he stated, still looking at the ceiling, Ed cracked on eye open to see he had one leg bent, and his hands were under his head. "Every other kid. I've always been able to set them on the straight and narrow. No matter how insane. But you're different."

Ed chose not to speak, closing his eyes again, giving a slight, inaudible sigh.

"How long have you been coming to see me? How much have e told each other? Shared with each other?" was Mustang aware the Ed was still very much awake? Or was he just talking to himself?

"I know we've only had 6 official meeting, yet I feel like we've known each other for the longest time…" Ed was fairly certain the Colonel was just talking to himself now. "Everything just spills out when I'm with you, it's like you're the counsellor and I'm the patient."

Silence filled the room once again as Roy gave a sigh and rolled so he was facing Ed, not that Ed knew this, he still had his eyes closed and was thinking about what Roy had said. They'd only had 6 meetings? It felt like more then that. All the times they'd met in the halls, when Roy drove him home, or part way there, Elysia's birthday party, having dinner at Winry's. In all the time they'd spent together, how many conversations had they had? It only chalked up to 6 official meetings? And how many times had they _argued?_ in those 6 meetings they inevitably ended up shouting at each other, and here they were in complete peace. Had Ed really made any progress at all? He still hated milk, he still skipped meals, he still wanted his dad dead, and he was still short! The only progress he made was in the 'love' field, and he could hardly tell his counsellor he found him attractive, and may very well be head over heels in love with him.

Roy gave a small, dead chuckle, as if he'd heard Ed's thoughts.

"So… believe in love at first sight? Or should I walk past again?"

Ed cracked open his eyes to see Roy facing him, eyes peacefully closed, before the lights went out in the corridor outside, and then automatically in the classroom. The school keeper had unplugged the mains for the night, a signal that they had stayed too long. Neither really cared - Roy had keys anyway, and if all else failed they could always climb over the main gate. It was coming up to 6:30 and Amestris Central High was usually deserted by 5:00. Ed studied the man in front of him. The moon outside was illuminating Roy's white shirt, and giving Ed's eyes and hair and eerie glow, as it always did. And as Ed got used to the darkness, he began to distinguish more and more things jumping out at him, like the silver of Mustang's wrist watch, the hardedge outline of his glossy black trousers and shows. The way his skin was pale and almost shining in the moonlight. How he'd turned back onto his back and draped a lazy arm over his forehead, eyes now open and staring at the ceiling determinedly, as if trying not to look somewhere else. It didn't take long for Ed to realise everything he was noticing were things that enhanced the beauty that Roy held. Yet he couldn't bring himself to feel ashamed or embarrassed in the peace of the evening that the two had created. He closed his eyes again, trying to commit the image of a peaceful Mustang to memory.

And Roy, in turn, noticed Ed. The way his bright sunshine hair had paled and began to glow in the moonlight. His skin darkened, his skinny body emphasised by the lack of a thick heavy coat, his closed eyes making him look asleep and tranquil. His tense posture against the desk leg suggesting that he was actually very much awake. The shine of metal as his sleeve slipped towards his shoulder… wait… metal?

"Edward?" he voice sounded husky through the peace. Ed cracked his eyes open to gaze at the now upright Mustang, his eyes glowing in the moonlight. Roy faltered for just a moment, before: "Why is it you have automail?"

Ed's eyes widened in surprise, and he quickly glanced at his shoulder and leg, pulling up his sleeve and pulling back on his coat to make sure it was doubly covered. He gave Mustang a worried Look, as if this discovery was going to end his life. Mustang sat up even straighter.

"We're still in a meeting Edward. Answer my question."


	12. This Arm is Also a Miracle

-1**Give Guidance or Counsel**

**Door Handles**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist**

**Rating of Chapter: T**

**Chapter 12 - This Arm is Also a Miracle**

Look out for Emo Ed, dear God, this chapter is so angst filled.

Tuesday the 12th of October

Edward was silent for a good seven minutes, and Roy was beginning to wonder if he was going to answer at all. Ed detached himself from his chair leg, and standing up, his eyes never once left Roy's. The elder man could see that internal fight going on behind them, tell or don't tell? The blonde teen sat down on one of the desks, Roy stood and leant against a different desk. He kept his eyes trained on the ground, Edward hated to be studied when he was telling something.

"You remember I said my mother got ill and died?" questioned the teen. Roy gave a small grunt, and nodded. "Well, to be honest, I didn't take it too well."

Roy chanced a glance at the boy, he was sitting with his legs gangling over the edge of the desk, and was staring intently at his lap, fingering his right arm with the fingers of his left hand.

"once I finally realised that neither of my parents were coming back, and that id have to look after my younger brother, I soft of lost it." Ed's voice cracked slightly, and he dug his fingers into the material of his coat. "I left a note for Pinako next door, so she could look after Al, and went off to the train station."

Roy gave the floor a wary look, paling slightly, he didn't really like where this was going.

"I didn't really know much about trains back then, I'm lucky it was stopping anyway." Ed gave a hollow laugh. Roy could feel the bile forming at the back of his throat. "Pinako, Win and Al got there just in time to see me hurl myself in front of the train." Roy closed his eyes and swallowed heard.

"I failed at dying, I just hit it at an odd angle and mangled my limbs beyond repair. Pinako stopped the blood flow and fixed me up with these artificial limbs."

Ed rolled on trouser leg up to just past his knee, and removed his coat and top while Roy watched.

"Ugly aren't they?" he asked, giving the metal limbs a rueful smile. Roy couldn't find the voice to answer. Ed carried on. "I guess I'm lucky Pinako's an automailist…"

Roy knew Ed wanted to say something else.

"I don't like to acknowledge I have them. Al lost his memory of that time, and all the time leading up to that - the doctors said it was a result of shock." The boy gave another hollow laugh. "All these are, are the reminder that I caused my brother to lose his precious memories. Now I just wish I'd succeeded in dying. I couldn't even do that right."

Roy paled some more and held a hand to his mouth, swallowing the bile back down. Ed gave another hollow laugh.

"What? You're a counsellor and you've never seen a suicidal kid before?" he asked, Roy spared him a pitying glance. Ed was right though, he'd seen plenty of suicidal people before, so why was Ed's story effecting him so much? "The doctors put me on constant watch, Pinako was to call some guy named Marcoh if I ever got like that again. The old lady called him when we came for Hohenheim's house. We only barely got to keep the thing when social services were done. I don't really care about what I did, it's all in the past, but I hate to be reminded that I caused Al's memory loss. He probably blames me…"

He slammed a fist into his thigh, Roy detached himself from the desk and hovered awkwardly near where Edward was sitting. Ed looked up to see the man giving him such a sad look he almost burst out crying because of it. He stood up to meet Mustang, trouser leg falling back down, and he pulled on his top and coat again, suddenly uncomfortably aware of how it would look if someone were to walk in, even though the school was completely deserted. Mustang waited patiently for Ed to re-dress himself, before pulling the stunned teen into an awkward hug.

"He care's about you." he said softly, protectively wrapping his arms around Ed's slim form. "You really are one fucked up child." he said, and somehow it didn't feel embarrassing for Ed to clutch at the material of Roy's shirt and bury his nose there. The hug lasted until Roy's phone began to beep, and the two jumped away from each other at surprising speed, until there was a respectable gap between them which would not seem like a great distance for a teacher and student, but now seemed way too much of a distance for the two occupants of the room. Roy flipped open his phone and gave an awkward 'hello?'

The voice of Maes Hughes rang clearly into the room, despite the fact that Roy did not have his phone set to loud speaker.

"Hey Roy, where are you?" asked the excitable best friend.

"I'm… with someone." answered Roy, sitting on a desk and crossing his legs, the manly way.

"Oooh! A date?" teased Hughes, which made Ed blush, _way to lighten the mood Hughes_ he thought. Roy gave Ed a quick glance, as if checking if he was a date or not.

"No, a patient." Evidently, he thought not.

"Whoa… Roy, it's nearly 7:30!" exclaimed the voice on the other side of the phone. Both boys checked their watches.

"Yes." replied Roy, he gave a sigh, "We overran."

"Is it Miss Lust? She's hot."

Roy rolled his eyes, Ed suddenly found his shoe laces very interesting.

"Do I have to remind you that you are a married man Hughes?"

There was a chuckle, made sound electronic by the phone line.

"No, no… Gracia's the only woman for me!" said Hughes, "but _you _Colonel! Where's the love of your life? Where's your wife and kids?"

"We've been over this before…" was the colonel's response. Mustang gave Ed a curious look. "Look Hughes, was there a reason you called?"

There was a thoughtful pause which engulfed the room.

"Not particularly, just wanted to make sure you weren't drowning yourself in whiskey…" the voice trailed off and Mustang gave a sigh.

"I talked to her Hughes… she forgives me. Told me not to beat myself up about it…" Roy gave Ed another glance, who quickly switched his gaze to the wall, now sure 'she' was Winry.

"She's a kind, smart girl."

Ed made a mental note to tell Winry Hughes compliment.

"Yeah… listen, let me take this guy home, then I'll call you back." Roy didn't wait for an answer before he hung up. Ed stood and grabbed his bag, seeing it as his cue to leave. Somehow Ed was getting pretty used to accepting rides off Mustang. Only, when they got to the car park Roy realised one vital thing. The car park was inside the school gate, the gate Roy had no keys for. Sure, he and Ed could scale the gate quite easily, but getting a car over would be impossible. Roy's care was stuck inside school grounds till morning.

"Where do you live?" asked Ed, tugging his coat tighter around him to give him more warmth.

"That's not the problem." replied Roy, shooting Ed a glance. Ed flushed, and blamed it on the cold wind.

"Don't worry about me, I always walk home."

"Not in the dark, on your own." Roy sighed. "C'mon, I'll walk you home." he added, steering the boy in the direction of the gate they had to climb.

Roy took a running jump and scaled it with all the grace of a cat running up a tree, he vaulted the top and landed on his feet on the other side. He straightened up and smiled back at Ed on the other side. The blonde got the impression that Mustang did it a lot, he was still shocked by the older man's display of graceful fitness. Ed looked up at the large iron gates, and then at the small gap underneath it, before dropping to his elbows and army crawling under the gate. When he straightened up on the other side he could see the laughter in Mustang's eyes.

"Go ahead and say what you're thinking Colonel!" he snapped. Roy shook his head, but replied even so -

"It's just, well, a _normal_ sized person wouldn't have been able to do that!"

"Who the hell -"

"It's a good thing you're so small."

"No it's not! Shut up! What do you know?" the teen continued to rant, catching up to Mustang, who had already started the fairly long walk to Ed's house. Mustang offered him the signature smirk as snow began to fall lightly around them. Ed took in Mustang angelic face, then the whole picture, with the snow and everything, and realised for the first time that snow could be romantic.

"Damn snow." muttered Mustang.

"You don't like snow?" asked Ed.

"No, it's cold." was the reply, Ed smiled, as he had shared that view not three seconds ago.

"Yeah, but it's kind of romantic." he counteracted, using his new found knowledge.

"Sure, if you're into all that cabin in the woods, caught by a blizzard, can only keep warm by making love stuff."

Ed blushed, but ran in front of the Colonel and stopped, making the man stop too. He pulled off both of his gloves and presented his palms, one flesh, one metal. Snow melted on the flesh, and not on the metal. Roy watched, a sad look coming back. Ed began talking without really knowing what he was saying, making it up as he went along, and watching the snow on his hands.

"Snow melts on what's alive. My metal arm doesn't give off any heat, but my flesh arm will melt the snow. Snow reminds us what it is to be human, to be falling, struggling, to melt as we interact with each other. A scientist knows that snow is dangerous, and it is, but to an everyday person it's abnormal, and not a bad abnormal, a good abnormal, a miracle! Don't you think that's romantic?" he asked. Roy reached out and grasped Ed's hands, holding both flesh and metal in his own and making Ed blush.

"A miracle huh? Don't you think it's also a miracle that snow can survive on your metal arm?" he asked. "You say humans melt as the interact, but we have to survive that intense heat, and build something new; a relationship. Therefore, this arm is also a miracle." he said, wiping his thumb over the building snow there and melting it, before bringing it lightly to his lips and kissing away the dew.


	13. I Wouldn't Have Anything To Wear

-1**Give Guidance or Counsel**

**Door Handles**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal alchemist**

**Rating of Chapter: T**

**Chapter 13 - I wouldn't Have Anything to Wear.**

Tuesday the 12th of October

Ed lay awake, giving his ceiling the evil eye, metal leg bent and hands under his head. Somehow he knew he was being irrational by blaming it all on his ceiling and yet, that's exactly what he was doing.

The rest of the walk home had been in silence, Roy had looked annoyed at himself, and Ed was too embarrassed to say anything. They'd arrived at the Elric residence at 8:28 and although Al had invited Mustang in (Ed forgot his keys and had to knock), Mustang had politely refused, and started walking in the direction they had come, which was when Ed realised that Mustang probably made a major detour to make sure Ed got home safely. And then, three hours later, at a little after 11:30, Ed was glaring at the ceiling. Because it was obviously the ceilings fault.

What had the Colonel been thinking? He brought his metal hand in front of his face so he could study it. How was it a miracle? He pouted, deep in thought. And why did he have to kiss the hand Ed couldn't _feel_? The teen blushed as he realised what he was thinking, shouldn't he be angry that Mustang kissed him at all?

Wednesday the 13th of October

The next day, during lunch, Ed got word via Winry that Mustang had not shown during tutor. Two seconds later he was informed by a passing Rose that Mustang had not appeared all day. This sent a shiver of panic though the teen, as he thought of all the things that could have gone wrong from when Roy had left him last night, to the next day. Various scenarios played themselves out in his head, yet he found he did not like a single one of them.

"Don't get all worried brother." reassured Al, "He probably just caught a cold, it was snowing last night."

Winry gave a little giggle, asking Ed what he and Roy had been doing last night anyway. Ed gave a groan, sick with worry and burying his hands.

"What if he got kidnapped? Of he caught the flu? Or he got hypothermia?" he asked, Al gave his brother a pointed look.

"Mr. Mustang can look after himself. He wouldn't have got kidnapped (since he's not even a kid), and he's not stupid enough to catch Hypothermia." reasoned Al.

"And Influenza?" questioned Ed.

"Even if he did, he'll get over it. Stop acting like his mother!" replied the younger Elric.

"I can't help it! I'm worried!"

Winry smirked.

"Because you care about him?" she asked. Ed thought back to Mustang's kiss last night, their talk of romanticism, and the hug he had received before hand. He blushed. The Colonel had been unusually affectionate the night before.

"No." he finally disagreed. "But it would be my fault if he went and got ill or something."

There was a sneeze behind them and three blondes turned to see a disgruntled a Mustang wiping his cherry red nose with a handkerchief.

"Well, there goes my stylish entrance…" sighed the older man, "Good afternoon Miss Rockbell, Elric brothers…"

Winry gave a little giggle which made Al grab her hand and glare at Mustang in a sudden fit of jealousy. Winry rolled her eyes at him, like she could ever be unfaithful to Al… Ed was for Mustang anyway. Mustang gave Ed a teasing smirk.

"I'm hurt that even though I'm ill, you can only think about yourself." he mocked, holding a hand to his chest dramatically. Ed glared. Mustang chuckled. "I jest, It's not you're fault I got a cold. You had little to do -"

"DON'T CALL ME SHORT YOU OVERSIZED BEANBAG!" screamed Ed. Mustang, who hadn't been able to cover his ears in time, winced at the headache he felt coming.

"I didn't call you sh-"

A warning growl stopped him from completing that sentence. He quickly changed the subject.

"I slept in this morning, hence why I was late, but Miss Lust mentioned a student dance to me, you guys thinking about going?"

Winry smiled at the thought of the student dance that had been mentioned to them at tutor (Winry had had _Armstrong_ as a substitute). It was a formal occasion, as in girls wearing dresses and guys wearing suits.

"I'll have to ask Granny, but if so, me and Al will go - right?" she aimed the question at her boyfriend, who quickly nodded, glad she was paying attention to him and not Mustang.

"And you Fullmetal?"

Ed blushed, one from the curious glances Win and Al had shot him at the name 'Fullmetal', and one because Roy was bringing up the subject of a dance with him.

"I don't really know… what day's it on?" he asked, to avoid giving a straight answer.

"Wednesday, next week." supplied Winry, Ed gave a large, fake sigh.

"Ah well, I have study group." he aid, he didn't miss the raised eyebrow from Roy.

"I'm sure you can miss one session." he spoke up. Ed glared at him.

"It's kind of important I keep up, besides, I would have no one to go with."

Roy gave a little smile.

"All the more reason to go, you may meet somebody." he replied, "I set it as a task from your counsellor, and you can tell that to your study group when they ask why you can't attend."

Ed gave Mustang the best damn death glare he could.

"I don't think you really understand how important it is I go to my study group."

"I'll help you catch up, I was a teacher you know."

"I still don't really want to go."

"Please?"

"No!"

"For me?"

Ed faltered for a moment, comprehended what his counsellor had just asked. _'For me' not 'with me' Ed_, he thought to himself, fighting down a blush. _'For me' as in 'if this makes you more socially acceptable then I get paid'._ Ed looked at his shoes.

"I… I wouldn't have anything to wear…"

Mustang chuckled.

"Oh, I'm sure you'll find something, why not ask someone at your study group to help you out?" he teased, by now Winry and Al were nodding in agreement, thinking Ed going to the dance was just the most wonderful idea in the world.

"Will you be attending Mr. Mustang?" asked Al, Roy spared him a glance.

"Oh, I suppose I'll be supervising." he answered.

"Will you be dressing up?" questioned Winry, a picture already formulated in her mind.

"If by 'dressing up' you mean dressing formally, then yes, I suppose so."

A picture of Roy in a tux flashed through Ed's mind, and that was how he found himself agreeing to attend the dance.

Roy sneezed.

-

Later that night, as Ed swept a mop along the shop floor that belonged to Jig and Izumi Curtis, he played through different scenarios of how the upcoming conversation could go. Eventually, as Izumi entered to tell him to leave, he actually worked up the courage to ask her.

"Teach?"

"I told you not to call me that anymore!"

Ed flinched, but carried on.

"Is it okay if I take next week off?"

A pause.

"Ehh?! You slacker! What's this all of a sudden?"

Ed ducked, then realising Izumi hadn't thrown anything, be it a punch or a saucepan, straightened again.

"I… I've been asked to go to a dance."

A flash of teasing went through Izumi's eyes.

"A girlfriend? And she asked you? How unmanly!"

Ed blushed.

"No, that's not it. It's a formal thing; like business."

A flash of annoyance. Then, in a deadly whisper;

"You're a rent boy?"

"Hell no! it's not _that_ either. It's… complicated?"

Izumi rolled her eyes at Ed's evasiveness.

"Whatever! Take the night off then, but don't expect to get paid for it!" she shouted, Ed nodded eagerly, glad she had agreed.

There was a long pause then;

"Have you got anything to wear to his dance?" asked Izumi. Gloom coming back, Ed shook his head. Izumi sighed, taking some money out of her pocket, and shoving it in Ed's hands. "It's a little more then I normally give you, you can buy some cheap formal clothes with it."

Ed smiled.

"Thanks Teach." he was then swiftly smacked round the side of the head.

"Don't go getting any ideas. This is a one off thing!" she shouted, Ed nodded.

"Yes Ma'am!"

"AND… since I'm being so kind, I wanna hear everything! Everyone you dance with, everyone you get off with" - Ed blushed - "And how it goes with this person who asked you."

Ed nodded.

"Okay…" He agreed, "But I don't think they'll be much to tell. I don't plan on doing much while I'm there. And like is aid, it's strictly formal between me and Mu-" Ed stopped himself, trying to avoid Izumi's eyes.

Saturday the 16th of October

On Saturday Ed went out with Al and Winry to buy an outfit for the dance, or it was more accurate in saying he was dragged out. For what seemed like hours, the trio shopped, until eventually they found outfits which Winry deemed fit for the dance.


	14. So I'm Your Date?

-1**Give Guidance or Counsel**

**Door Handles**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist**

**Rating of Chapter: T**

**Chapter 14 - So I'm Your Date?**

I don't know if Roy is Xingese at all. But for the sake of this random little scene, he is.

Wednesday the 20th of October

Ed studied himself in the mirror with a critical eye, smoothing out imaginary creases with a slightly from. It was late afternoon and the winter sun had set well over an hour ago. Evening was creeping in, and with it, Ed's inevitable doom. A knock on the door alerted Ed the hour of seven had arrived, and Al and Winry were waiting for him.

"Just a minute!" he shouted, and heard light footsteps do down the stairs. He buckled his brown leather wristwatch and gave his reflection one more dissatisfied look. There was just something wrong… he tugged at his usual braid. He was too lazy to cute his hair, and he couldn't afford a hairdresser… Al got Winry to cut his hair for him. He untangled the braid and pulled it back into a high ponytail instead. At least it looked like he'd made a bit of an effort, but he really wasn't looking forward to the dance.

He jogged downstairs to see Al in a black suit, white shirt and red tie, which complimented Winry's clingy red dress, who was holding his hand and had left her hair down and curled. Everyone seemed to be making a large effort.

"You're the only guy I know who can get away with going to a formal ball without wearing a suit." said Winry, linking their arms together.

"It _is _formal dress, besides, it's not like it's a _ball _or something. It's just a school dance." protested the eldest Elric brother, looking down at his attire. Brown dress trousers, a white shirt, drown dress shoes, and a brown waist coat. he was into brown at the moment. Winry nodded in agreement.

"You look good, so, are we walking, or is there a car?"

"Unless you're driving." replied Ed to her question, like they could afford to hire a car, he didn't even want to go!

Winry pouted.

"Guess we're walking then… the snow will ruin my hair." she sighed. Ed shrugged.

"You'll look pretty anyway."

Winry gave him a stunned glance, before he gaze softened and she held a hand to her chest.

"Thank you Ed."

"Whatever, Al would have said it if I hadn't." replied Ed, ushering the couple out of the door and locking up behind him. He turned to being the long walk to school, and the trio came face to face with Hughes.

"Hey." greeted the man, "Roy sent me to make sure you didn't back out of coming… Wanna ride?" he offered, and Winry readily accepted. She and Al got in the back of Hughes' flashy red Volvo, but Hughes pulled Ed up shotgun. While Al and Winry chatted happily in the back, Hughes gave Ed an intense look.

"What's between you and Roy?" asked the man quietly, shifting his gaze back to the road ahead. Ed felt the immediate blush grace his features, and stared straight ahead.

"Nothing… he's my counsellor." he replied, just as softly. Hughes nodded, making a grunting sound.

"He's never been this involved with a patient…"

"I know."

Hughes pinned him a searching look.

"Why can't he fix you? He fixed all the rest!" sighed the man, shaking his head.

"He asked me something like that too."

"Did you give him the answer?"

Ed shook his head as Hughes pulled into the schools staff car park.

"If he's any good at his job he'll figure it out himself."

Hughes parked up, then replied.

"He'll definitely figure you out then."

The three got out of the care.

"You're not coming Mr. Hughes?" asked Winry. Hughes shook is head.

"I'll be spending the night with Gracia and Elysia."

"Oh… well send out hellos and thanks for the other night." and with that she and Al made their way into the school hall. Ed waited back to watch Hughes drive off. _yeah, _he thought, _I'm confident he will._

After watching Hughes red Volvo disappear into the dark and snow, Ed cuddled his remaining courage and made his way into the hall. A cheesily slow violin piece was playing as he entered, accompanied by some chords on piano. He scanned the room for people he knew -

Al and Winry were laughing and dancing (badly). Rose was flirting with a 5th year called Cane, who was rumoured to have a huge crush on Rose, (him and the rest of the male population of the school, minus Ed,). The feeling was also rumoured to be mutual. Hence the flirting. Danny Brosh and Maria Ross, the two student teachers were chatting quietly in a corner, and Wrath was glaring intently at a girl Ed thought he recognised but couldn't place. He made his way over to the always angry second year.

"Hey."

"What do you want?" spat Wrath, redirecting his glare at Ed. Ed just smiled.

"So… what's that girls name again?" he asked, pointing to the girl talking to Fletcher, a first year Al was good friends with. Wraths pale cheeks coloured slightly.

"Claus… but what do you care? You like her?" he accused. Ed gave him an amused smirk. Claus, he was actually friends with her, but there was no way he was going to recognise the tomboy with her hair down, actually wearing a dress of all things.

"Yeah, maybe I do." teased Ed. Wraths glare intensified. "Gotta problem with that?" added Ed.

"No…"

Ed rose an eyebrow.

"You're _way_ older then her!" protested the second year. Ed smiled and gave a huge fake sigh.

"Jeez, guess you're right." his eyes sparkled. "but hey, _you're_ not 'way' older then her." he teased, Wraths cheeks coloured again.

"Why don't you go to talk to her." he prompted. Wrath glared at the floor.

"She's talking to Fletcher." he replied, not looking up. Ed glanced across the room, but Fletcher was now talking to his older brother Russell, and Claus was standing alone.

"No she's not." Wrath's head shot up. "Besides, Fletcher's a year younger then her, you've got the edge since you're the same age… or do you reckon she's into _older_ guys."

"No!" shouted wrath, Ed just pointed at Claus again.

"She's looking lonely, perhaps _I_ should go over and talk to her."

Wrath glared, before detaching himself from the wall he was leaning against and making his way towards the cute young girl. He was greeted with a big smile, which he very awkwardly returned.

"So how come you can play cupid, but you can't fall in love yourself?" asked a very familiar voice, Ed greeted Roy with his own huge smile; determined not to argue with him. Mustang looked shocked at Ed's friendly behaviour, before he awkwardly returned it. Somehow, Ed thought this situation resembled another. He gave a small little laugh, taking in the appearance of his counsellor.

He was wearing a black tux with a white shirt and black bowtie, and white gloves. His hair was slicked back with gel, minus a few stubborn strands, which showed off his Xingese eyes. Wait…

"You're Xingese?" asked the teen softly, Roy blinked in shock before;

"Half. I've lived in Amestris all my life though."

"O… oh."

Ed glanced around the room. Rose and Cane were still flirting. Wrath and Claus were laughing at _something_. Miss Lust was talking to a tanned man in a yellow shirt and black trousers, wearing sunglasses _indoors_. They both looked kind of sad and Miss Lust looked confused. Al and Winry were still dancing, but they were shooting him teasing glances. He let his eyes roll back to Mustang.

"I hate dances." he said, trying to fill the silence.

"They're better if you have a date." replied Mustang.

"Couldn't get one?" teased Ed. Mustang shot his a look.

"We're not allowed dates… that special privilege is reserved for students only." he smirked. "Where's you're date?"

Ed blushed.

"I didn't ask anyone, since I wouldn't have even come if you hadn't asked me too."

"… So, I'm your date?"

Ed gave a small chuckle. "That's not what I meant."

Mustang grunted in agreement.

"You've got to be the only guy who can pull off a brown waist coat and ponytail without looking like a stable boy." supplied Roy.

"You've got to be the only guy who can wear a tux and white gloves and be attractive enough not to look like a butler." Ed shot back. Roy laughed.

"Damn, Butler's what I was going for!" he joked, Ed gave him another once-over.

"Well… maybe if you go stand by the door and call everyone 'sir' and 'ma'am'."

"Ah, I'll go do that then, shall I take your coat sir?"

Ed gave a loud laugh, which was drowned out as the music switched to something loud and in minor key.

"Tallyho Mustang!" he directed, the two subsides into silent laughter at Ed's ridiculous language. All their laughter was completely swallowed up by the music and atmosphere of the room. Roy leant forward so Ed could hear him, talking directly into the boys ear.

"So… am I really attractive enough to pull this off?" he asked, Ed blushed. He was torn between nodded and embarrassing himself, or shaking his head, lying, and risking insulting Roy. He ended up just shrugging in a non-committal way, and studying the room again. Rose and Cane _still _hadn't got anywhere. Miss Lust looked like she was about to start crying, and she looked really confused and lost. He wanted to go tell her that it would all be alright, but didn't have the confidence. He felt a tug on his hand, and looked down to see a white glove holding his fingers delicately. He looked up and Roy jerked his head in the direction of the door.

They crossed the dance floor, after Roy had let go of Ed's hand, and out of the door. A few 5th and 4th year couples were outside, some making out, others sharing a fag. They walked passed them in silence, and walked out the school gate, which had been left unlocked of the special occasion. They walked along the snowy path in silence.

"You'll catch a cold again. Did you forget your car? Where are we going?"

"Shut up."

"Well that's not very nice!" carried on Ed as they rounded a corner into another lane, this one lined with houses with snow topped roofs, so it looked like a scene off a Christmas card. They still had to have a Halloween first though. "How do you forget a _car_ anyway? You'd have to be pretty out of it and-"

"Shut up."

"Will you stop saying that! It's ru-"

Ed shut up as his counsellor grabbed him by the shoulders and pulled him up so their lips met in a hard kiss.


	15. Like The Snow

-1**Give Guidance or Counsel**

**Door Handles**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist**

**Rating of Chapter: T**

**Chapter 15 - Like The Snow**

Wednesday the 20th of October

Ed melted into the kiss, knees weakening, and he brought his hands up to brace himself against the older man. His eyes fluttered shut and he gave a soft sigh against the other's lips. It lasted all of 5 seconds; no tongue, no wondering hands, no nothing, just two people joined by lips and melting under the intense heat this kiss had sparked, until Roy pulled away, and all the heat was gone, and they were left cold in the snow. Ed's eyes opened and the two men drew their hands away from where they had been using each other as support.

"Um.." Ed said, suddenly finding the snow covered pavement very interesting. "You… You kissed me." he stated, his voice sounding very small and confused. He glanced up to see Roy shuffling awkwardly. The older man was looking at anything but Ed.

"Yes… I did." he eventually confirmed. "You wouldn't shut up."

Ed felt Goosebumps growing on his flesh arm, the cold was really creeping in. Roy reached forward, then faltered, and let his hand drop. He removed his tux jacket and shoved it at the golden haired teen.

"Here."

Ed blushed.

"I'm not one of your-"

"You're cold. Just take it."

And so Ed took the jacket and wrapped it round his shoulders, it was way too big for him, something which annoyed Ed immensely.

"Th- thank you."

Roy shrugged in a 'it's no big deal' way, still glaring down the street they had come to.

"Did you want to return to the dance? I'll walk you there." he offered, Ed bit his tongue in thought.

"Are you going back?" he asked. Roy shook his head, shoving his hands in the pockets of his trousers. "Why did you take me here." asked the teen. Roy looked up at the sky, seemingly deep in thought.

"I suppose…" he eventually started, "If I'd stayed there a moment long I would have snapped, yet, I didn't want to leave you."

Ed blushed.

"Snapped at what?" he asked.

"The music. It was abysmal."

There was a pause before both men started to laugh. Roy's a deep chuckle which ran out through the snow, Ed's a lighter, more surprised laugh, which sounded just a little childish.

"So…" the boy giggled slightly, "Why didn't you want to…" he trailed off, realising he's just killed the mood. Roy studied him.

"I like being with you." he said honestly. "You're easy to talk to, fun to be around…" he trailed off, watching the boy fidget.

"I…" Ed couldn't really bring himself to say the same, after all the times they had argued. Could he really say Mustang was 'fun' to be around? Sometimes…

"I love you."

…

It hung in the air between them for a second before it was enveloped by silence and blown away by the wind. Roy gave a sigh.

"Don't worry. I'll quit my job, you wont ever see me again after tonight." he said, turning away and beginning to walk down the Christmas card land. Ed's head snapped up, watching Roy's back as he walked away. His expression hardened and he clenched his fists, glaring at the disappearing figure. Roy got all of 20 steps away before Ed called out -

"What a load of bull!" he screamed, Roy stopped and turned around, giving Ed a confused look. "How the hell can you be so damned selfish!? How can you shove that at me and then just walk away?"

Roy lowered his eyes.

"Ed…"

"No! You bastard! You drive me crazy! I've been obsessing over you for so long, I didn't think there was even a chance! And then you give me this glimmer of hope and _even then_ you walk away and say I'll never see you again! You scrapped that hope! What the fuck? What a fucking bastard!" he screamed, tears welling up in his eyes. Roy sighed before walking 15 steps backwards, stopping 5 steps from the teen. He played with the lighter in his pocket.

"Ed…"

A pause engulfed them. Ed glared up at the older man.

"Why have you started calling me Ed? I swear I told you never to call me that again." he seethed, Roy sighed.

"I figured it wouldn't matter, since you'd hate me anyway." replied the man. Ed felt hot tears fall down his cheeks.

"You bastard." he coughed, "I… I love you." he whispered. Again it stayed in the air, blown away by snow before it hit the other man. Roy just sighed.

"Well… at least I cracked on more case before I leave." he suddenly felt a palm connect with his cheek bone, pain amplified because of the cold. He let out a grunt of anger and pain, then looked back at Ed, cheek turning a roseyred. Ed was glaring.

"What the fuck Mustang?! I spill my heart out to you and all you can think about if your fucking job!?" he shouted, raising his hand for another attack, Mustang caught the boy's flesh hand, and was punched in the head with his automail fist instead. Ed choked back his tears, readying himself to hit Mustang again. The elder dodged the next punch and tackled the teen to the ground, holding both Ed's hands above his head and sitting on the boys stomach. He glared down at the boy.

"You're 16 years old! What the fuck do you know about love?" he asked in a gravely whisper. Ed looked up at the man, tears in his eyes and snow melting on his back. He looked away.

"Nothing." he answered truthfully. "That's why I was sent to you."

Mustang let a smirk take over his features.

"Well, there you go then. You're not in love with me."

"Trust me, I've done everything I can to try and prove that to myself." spoke up Ed, wriggling slightly under the dark haired man. "I hate you so much, yet every time I'm with you I can feel myself melting. As much as I can't stand you, I just want to be with you… what is that?" he asked, shivering. Mustang sighed.

"I don't know." he admitted. "But how could you be in love with me?" he let go of Ed's arms and got off of him, the two men just sat in the snow, effectively soaking themselves through with wet dew. Ed looked upwards, before standing and offering a hand to Mustang, who took it gratefully.

"Please don't tell me you're completely denying my feelings because you have zero self respect." said the teen, still looking upwards. Roy followed his gaze reaching out and clasping his hands with the blondes. A spark of heat ignited there, and grew, until both of their arms were cosy and warm.

"And if I am?"

"I'll hit you, because that's ridiculous."

"What if I was denying both of our feelings because what we're doing now is illegal?"

Ed gulped, trying to make out some stars within the snow clouds.

"Then…" he paused to think. "Then that makes it more fun." he said, a cheeky grin spread over his face.

"I'm 27 years old, I don't need fun. I'm too old for that stuff."

"27 is _not _old."

"Well, thank you. But that doesn't help out situation." Roy sighed, "Look kid, I'm 12 years older then you, and your guidance counsellor, not to mention the fact that I'm a guy and…" he choked a little, making Ed snap his head up to look at him. "And… what I did…" Ed rolled his eyes.

"If you're talking about Winry-" a cough confirmed that he was - "She forgave you, besides, it's got nothing to do with this. I tried to use it as an excuse too, but that's unfair. You need to stop punishing yourself." Roy turned his head to meet Ed's gaze.

"I know you're blaming yourself, but it was an accident. I know what it's like to blame yourself for something, trying to tell yourself that you couldn't have done anything, it was out of your control, and not believing yourself. But it's stupid to try and keep this up! You need to let go!"

Ed dropped his gaze to the floor.

"Have you let go?" asked the older man, Ed shook his head and grasped tighter at Roy's hand.

"No, I haven't. So maybe I shouldn't be lecturing, but wasn't it you who told me we can survive, and build something new?" Ed held out his automail hand and watched the snow gather there. Roy watched it too.

"You blame yourself for Al's lost memories, right?" he asked. Ed nodded. Roy gave a tiny, rueful smile. "You're so fucked up."

"Yeah…" agreed Ed, "You keep saying that."

"Maybe I'm just a reassuring myself."

Ed sighed.

"You're pretty fucked up yourself." he said, searching the sky for stars again.

"I know… always have been, way too selfish for my own good."

A pause, then;

"You said you were reassuring yourself?"

"Yeah." sighed Roy, "The longer you stay a nutcase, the longer I get to stay with you."

Ed shifted his gaze again.

"That is selfish."

Roy nodded. Ed chuckled.

"Guess we're just two nut jobs."

Roy nodded again. They both turned their gaze to the sky.

"It's amazing I was accepted for this job actually."

Ed gave the sky his attention for as long as he could without blinking, then;

"It's a miracle." he said and the snow stopped falling, the boys watched in silence as the last flakes hit the ground.

"Like the snow." Said Mustang

"Like this arm…" Said Ed.

They watched the sky for a moment longer.

"I do think about you a lot. This may not be 'love', but… I want to be with you." spoke up Ed, his words hurried into the darkness.

"Yeah…" replied Roy after a few moments of silence. "I want to be with you too." he leant over, pointing up to a point in the sky. He spoke directly into Ed's ear. "There's one."


	16. Welcome To My Humble Abode

-1**Give Guidance or Counsel**

**Door Handles**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist**

**Rating of Chapter: T**

**Chapter 16 - Welcome To My Humble Abode**

Wednesday the 20th of October… still.

Ed found himself being dragged down road after road, Roy's hand still firmly holding his own. The elder man flipped open his phone when they'd walked in silence for over seven minutes.

"Hey Hughes." he said, Ed tried not to listen to whatever Mustang had to say to his best friend, but it was very hard not to listen to him when he was the only person talking in a deserted road.

"Hey Roy, enjoying the dance?" said Hughes voice teasingly.

"Yes actually." replied the Colonel, shooting Ed a small smile which made the teen blush and smile shyly back. "Can I ask you a favour again…?" he trailed off and there was a thoughtful pause on the other end.

"Yeah, I'm guessing you can't take those kids home."

"Afraid not, Alphonse and Winry will need a lift."

"And Ed?" laughed the phone.

"He left already."

The phone went silent.

"He'll catch a cold." said Hughes.

"I think he'll be fine." replied Mustang.

"He's with you isn't he?" Hughes voice sounded resigned. Mustang didn't reply. "I don't care Roy, just keep in mind that he's just a kid."

Mustang coughed.

"How…?"

"As a friend I say 'good on ya', as a member of the school board I warn you against this."

"There's nothing going Hughes."

"… As a father I say bullshit!"

Ed let out a loud laugh and Mustang cursed.

"I didn't call for a lecture." he told the phone, Hughes chuckled slightly.

"Yeah yeah, I'll pick 'em up. Just don't do anything you'll regret okay?"

Mustang nodded and hung up, knowing Hughes would just _know_ he had agreed. Once his phone was back in his pocket he turned to Ed and gave him a stern look.

"So, you got a curfew or something?" he asked, semi jokingly.

"Oh! So _now_ you care!?" Ed shouted, Mustang laughed, Ed sighed. "As long as I'm home before sunrise."

Mustang snorted in amusement.

"Are you a vampire?"

"Oh… witty." replied Ed sarcastically (oh, the irony). "Al wakes up by the light, and if he knows I spent a night out he'll have my head." he explained. Mustang nodded, all seriousness.

"Alright then." he winked, "Here comes the fun part!" Ed blushed, and was dragged off by the hand down another Christmas card lane.

The two walked in content silence for a little while, Mustang obviously knowing exactly where he was going and Ed having no clue as he was dragged deeper and deeper into a web of back roads. Not wanting to be seen with Ed, lest they be recognised and reported and he lost his job and the respect of everyone he knew. _Still_, he thought, glancing down at their clasped hands, _being with Edward is definitely worth taking a slightly longer route back home._

And speaking of home, he stopped short in front of the large, daunting looking black of flats. He pulled on Ed's hand and lead him into the building, up three flights of stairs, along a long corridor, and then up another set of stairs before coming to a halt in front of a dark blue door with 39 stamped on the front. He let go of Ed's hand to fumble with his keys and open the door, before dragging the teen inside.

"Welcome to my humble abode." he said lightly, letting go of the teen. Ed glanced around. The door opened up to a square room, furnished with 1 armchair and a small sofa, there weren't any windows on the walls and the only light was coming from the artificial one overhead. The left hand wall was the home of a small bookcase, filled to the brim with books, and the right hand wall opened up to the kitchen, which was only separated from the living area with a counter. There was a door directly opposite Ed that was closed.

"It's… um…" basic, is what Ed was thinking, but he didn't want to say it, since it was rude.

"It's just a bachelor pad." explained Roy, "Not really meant to family living, so the lack of natural light doesn't bother me." he gave an awkward smile, and Ed got the impression that he was anxious for Ed's verdict. Ed smiled back.

"It's nice." he said, and saw Roy visibly relax.

"Right. Well…" he crossed the room and opened the door, Ed spotted a messy, unmade bed and watched Roy quickly sweep up some dirty washing and shove it out of sight. He blushed heavily.

"The bathroom's en suite, in case you… uh - yeah…" explained the elder man. Ed let out the breath he was holding, and let himself relax from where he had been standing rigid, and chided himself for letting his mind run in the gutter. "You alright?" asked Roy, striding back over to him and putting a hand on his shoulder. Ed shifted his gaze up to Roy's eyes and nodded mutely. Roy grinned, which made the blonde catch his breath.

"I'm glad." said Roy in a husky voice, revelling in the naïve reactions he was getting from his companion. He moved his hand from Ed's shoulder and cupped the boys cheek, keeping eye contact with the younger. He wrapped his other arm round the boys waist and pulled their bodies flush together. The top of Ed's head didn't even reach Roy's collarbone, so while Roy was looking down, Ed was straining his neck to keep the eye contact. They stayed in the embrace for awhile, until Ed broke eye contact, muttering;

"I'm tired."

It probably wasn't intended for Roy to hear, but he did anyway. He gently pushed the teen on to the sofa and dragged himself into the kitchen area. He watched the boy over the counter. The teen was studying his bookcase with polite curiosity, so Roy set to work in the kitchen. When he re-entered the living area with a plate of white-bread sandwiches and two cans of lemonade (he'd spent forever trying to find them in the back of his fridge behind all the alcohol), Ed was curled up on the sofa, with his shoes discarded next to it, on page four of a large hard-back.

"You should probably get out of those clothes, they're soaked." announced Roy, placing the plate on the arm of the armchair and chucking one of the can's at Ed. The boy caught it as he jumped up off the sofa with a look of horror. The book was thrown down on the sofa with surprising care, considering it had been thrown.

"Shit." cursed the blonde, "I didn't even think, will it be okay?"

Roy blinked bemusedly, before following Ed's frightened gaze to the sofa and snapping, (well, not literally).

"I don't really care, it's over a decade old now, and it's only water." he replied, watching Ed relax a little. "I was more thinking about your health." he added, putting his own drink down on the floor and motioning for Ed to follow suit, and follow him. Ed did, and he was taken back into Roy's bedroom, and stood in front of a large wardrobe. Ed quickly glanced around the room, took in Roy's dark blue double divan bed, small bedside table, the door which lead to the bathroom, which was next to the wardrobe and couldn't be see from the living area even if you Roy left the bedroom door wide open. Which he probably should do, because taking up the entire opposite wall of Roy's bedroom was a huge window over looking the courtyard. It was quite spectacular, which made up for it being the only window in the flat.

"Here." said Roy, pulling out a white T-shirt and a pair of red and white Hawaiian beach shorts, and a petite white belt. Ed studied the clothes and gave Roy an incredulous look. Roy rolled his eyes, "Nothing else I own will fit you, but you'll catch a cold like that." he explained, shoving the clothes into Ed's arms. He pulled the curtains closed, waving to an old lady who was sitting in the courtyard before hand, and left Ed to change.

He was reading the book Ed had earlier discarded when the blonde reappeared. The white T-shirt swamped him, and the shorts went well past his knees. He lifted the shirt to show off the belt.

"At least this fits!" he grinned, Roy laughed.

"Yeah… but that's a handbag strap." he explained, all of Roy's belts would have had no effect on Edwards feminine form. Ed smirked at the dark haired man.

"And why, pray tell, would you have a _handbag strap?"_

Far from looking embarrassed, or blushing, as Ed would have expected, Roy just smirked right back.

"As tonight proves, you never know when you might need one." he chuckled, Ed made his way over and sat next to him on the sofa, raising his eyebrow.

"So you always just keep one handy?" he asked, a hint of disbelief in his words. Roy nodded seriously, before laughing.

"Okay, this goes way back… to college!" he started, Ed gave large, fake gasp.

"That must have been _ages_ ago!" he exclaimed, watching as Roy's expression went from happy and amused to livid.

"Hey!" he shouted, "What are you trying to suggest?!"

Ed just giggled.

"That you're _old_, old man!"

Roy gaped, "Yeah?… well, well you're _short, _short man!" he taunted, Ed went to jump up, but Roy lifted his legs and stretched them over Ed's lap, effectively trapping him there.

"Let me go! You went too far!" exclaimed the blonde, wriggling. Roy just leant back against the arm of the sofa and made no move to move his legs. He laughed and teased Ed's futile attempts at trying to free himself before the boy went limp, then leant sideways so his head was resting on Roy's stomach. The elder began to play with Ed's hair subconsciously. Pulling it out of it's ponytail and threading it through with his fingers, pulling it apart where it had tangled in the moist air outside. He felt Ed get comfortable and picked up the book he's discarded earlier in favour of looking at Ed. Turning to the page he'd left off on, he held that book in one hand, while still playing with Ed's hair in the other. He read until he felt Ed's breath even out, and a light snoring filled the room. At this he placed down his book and closed his own eyes.


	17. You And Your Bloody Door Handles!

-1**Give Guidance or Counsel**

**Door Handles**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist**

**Rating of Chapter: T**

Thursday the 21st of October

Ed got home the next day just as the light was peeking over the horizon. He climbed through his bedroom window and landed on the bed that was bellow it with surprising grace. He looked up to see Al standing in the doorway; eyebrow raised, arms crossed, and right foot tapping as he waited to an explanation to Ed's ninja entrance and where he had been all night. Ed gave a cute little laugh in an attempt to lighten the mood.

"Edward." warned his brother, leaning against the doorframe. Ed winced at the authoritative tone in his voice.

"Yes?" he questioned, testing his waters.

"Don't you 'yes' me!" shouted Al, _oops, _thought Ed, _I just drowned._ "I've been worried sick all night! You take off without so much as a goodbye from the dance, in the freezing cold - and no jacket! You didn't even think about taking some way to contact Winry or I! you could have been kidnapped, or died, and I'd be none the wiser! Take some responsibility, you're 16 years old now!" screamed the younger of the two brothers.

"You'd think at 16 years old I'd be able to chose where I spend the night alone." mumbled Ed. Al just gave him a livid look. Ed sighed, then apologised.

"Whatever brother, where did you go?" Al asked. He thought he could probably guess by who he had left with, and the way Ed's face flared up, but he wanted to hear Ed admit it.

"Well… Um… We went for a walk, and then…" he stopped, blushed and coughed, and carried on. "I got pretty drenched with snow, it was only natural and kind that… well… you know…" he trailed off, shuffling his feet and looking at them. Al smirked. Now he was over his fit of anger, he was going to enjoy this.

"What was natural and kind?" he asked, still standing in the doorway so Ed had no way of escape. Ed, still studying the floor, passed his hands over himself.

"That they give me some different clothes…" he explained, and Al took in what his brother was wearing. It certainly wasn't what he was wearing the night before. White T-shirt and Hawaiian surfer shorts, he was barefoot, but his shoes were next to his bed where they had been dropped when Ed made his entrance this morning. His hair had been left down.

"Ahuh…" replied Al, "And how did you get wet?" he asked, he watched his brother blush and stammer, remembering the events of the night before.

"Uh… I got in a fight." he said, not really lying, as he was physically attacking someone at the time. "They floored me, after I landed a couple of hits to that smug face of his, we both got a little damp."

Somehow, Al found his explanation believable.

"Jeez brother, and where was Mustang during all of this?" he questioned, Ed just stammered even more.

"I- huh? Who mentioned M-Mustang?"

Al just rolled his eyes and gave Ed an expectant look. Ed sighed, seeing he'd been caught out.

"Mustang was the one whom I was fighting." he admitted, Al brightened up.

"Oh, so this 'fight' was actually just a rough make out session you guys were having in the middle of a deserted street." he said quickly, making Ed's eyes widen and his cheeks colour. He shook his head feverishly.

"No, no, no!" he protested, "It really was a fight!" Al gave him a sceptic look. Ed glared. Al decided he was probably telling the truth, since he wouldn't put it past Ed to show his emotions with the use of violence, and he wouldn't put it past _anyone_ to tackle Ed in an attempt to stop the attacks.

""Okay, so you got to Mustang's place, he gave you a change of clothes, cuz you got wet" he stopped and watched his brothers blush at his choice of words, "And… what happened then?"

"Why are questioning me?" he asked. "I don't actually have to answer you." Al rolled his eyes.

"I'm not trying to step on your toes Ed, just wondering what you were doing while I was worrying." he guilt tripped. Ed winced.

"Sorry Brother." he apologised, "I guess, I was just sleeping - I really tired."

Al's eyes widened, and he gasped.

"Oh my God! You did!" he gushed, Ed blinked; confused.

"I did what?"

"You slept with him!"

Ed just kept on blinking, innocent and naïve to the less obvious terms of love and sexual encounters.

"Well yeah, would have been a long night otherwise."

Al, trying to keep the laughter out of his voice, picked up the mobile they shared.

"I need to call Winry." he said, leaving Ed alone in his room. Ed pouted getting the feeling he and Al had been talking about two separate things again.

"Oi! Al, she's just next door! Don't waste out credit!"

Two minutes later he heard the front door slam.

-

Once Ed had showered and dressed in his own clothes, a black tank top and jeans, he hurried downstairs to grab some breakfast before school. He was met in the kitchen by Al and Winry, who were both already in their shoes and coats and were whispering excitedly about something. Winry gave him a look as he passed which made him think that that 'something' was actually him. His suspicions were confirmed on their usual early morning walk to school.

"So Ed, tired?" asked Winry as the boy yawned. Ed nodded, although he'd spent practically all of his time at Roy's asleep, he felt like he'd been awake all night. Winry giggled.

"Don't worry, that'll get better with practise." she laughed, Al was smirked beside her, and Ed got the impression he was missing the joke. "Anything hurt at all?" asked the only girl, making Al make a face and Ed look around; confused.

"No…" he eventually answered. "Why would it?"

Al and Winry exchanged a glance, by this time they were nearing the school, yet the two did not relent on their questioning.

"So, where did _it_ happen?" Asked Al, quietly and deliberately as other students passed them. Ed just gave him another confused look.

"Where did you guys sleep together!?" Winry re-asked bluntly, once they were the only people around again. Ed felt the heat rise a little, but answered anyway.

"On the sofa."

Winry giggled again.

"You guys couldn't wait to get to the bedroom?"

"It just didn't happen that way… is it really that important?" replied Ed, wondering what the third degree was for when he'd simply fallen asleep round Roy's. He fell asleep round Winry's all the time.

"Ahuh. What position?" she asked. Al made another face, as if some questions were okay to ask, but other's weren't.

"Uh… _laying down_." stressed Ed. "How else would you? He asked.

Both Winry and AL swept their friend into a group hug, effected by his sweet naivety.

"You're so cute!" cooed Winry.

-

Ed strolled into the room, letting the door slam closed behind him, frown plastered firmly on his face. He slammed his hands on the desk, and the occupant behind, who had managed not to jump, looked up, adjusting his glasses.

"Yes?" asked the surprised man. Ed brought his hands up, and slammed the back down. "Want to stop taking this out on my desk and tell me what's wrong?"

"Sure!" exclaimed Ed, "I'll stop when you explain this!" he added, letting the slip of paper fall onto the desk. Roy picked up the paper and looked over the rim of his glasses at the young boy.

"It's your counselling slip, you've had a few, I thought you would recognise them by now." he replied, Ed flushed at the teasing.

"Don't screw with me! I realise that you bastard!"

Roy blinked.

"Then… uh… what's the problem?"

Ed slammed his hands on the table again, earning him a glare from his elder.

"You told me last night that I didn't need it anymore!" he protested, "And when did you get glasses?"

Ed, although angry, did not miss the very light tint of colour that graced Roy's cheeks as he pulled off the offending items and studied them.

"I only need them for reading small text." he explained, "And I said nothing of the sort!" he got himself back to the original subject.

"You said you'd cracked me when I said…" he trailed off and blushed. Roy smirked leaning forwards and resting his chin in his hands.

"What did you say that I supposedly replied to? I'm afraid my memory fails me." his smirk grew, "help me recollect the scene?"

He revelled in the growing blush on the blonde teen's face. Ed glanced at the door, as if weighing his chances of escape. It was lunchtime, but he was in Mustang's office, the ever deserted psychology block. It did not stop the embarrassment at Roy's teasing. He stepped backwards and crossed his arms protectively over his stomach. He averted his gaze to the blank walls of his office.

"C'mon, you're changing the subject." he whined.

"I believe I said _something__…_" he smirked, "but I'm getting _old_ Fullmetal, I'll need your help to remember."

"Dammit Mustang!" he yelled, blushing and clenching his hands into fists. "Fine… I said I -"

Mustang rose an eyebrow. Ed stepped forward and slammed his hands on Mustangs desk one last time.

"I said I … I l-love you dammit!"

Mustang smirked.

"Now I remember." he grinned, "I said I cracked you with your 'love thing', but you're not in therapy simply for that reason are you?"

"You could keep me here forever with shit like that!"

"Right." agreed Mustang, a cheeky grin spreading over his features. "Because you're so fucked up."

"Admit it bastard!" said Ed, suddenly smug, "You're just being selfish again; trying to keep me with you!" he accused.

Mustang stood up and walked around his desk. He caught Ed's hands and forced him backwards, until his back hit the door. Then he let go of the boy's hands and brought his hands up to tangle in the boys hair.

"So what if I am?" he whispered. Ed blushed and felt backwards with his hand, he grabbed the door handle and pulled, falling out of the door just as Roy was leaning in for the kiss.

"Dammit Edward! You and your bloody door handles!

**The end, finally. *gasp* That seemed like it took forever! Heh, Keep an eye out for the sequel, which has yet to be named, but it may take me awhile to get it up.**

**I hope you all enjoyed this story, despite my complaining, I enjoyed writing it. **

**I'm not adverse to reviews, in fact, I revel in them, even if they're telling me how much it sucks. Though I would prefer if you are telling me it sucks, you have a legitimate reason, not just 'OMGZ THERE GAY LOLZ TATZ STUPID' because that's annoying, and I won't take advice from someone who can't use proper grammar.**


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